BEFORE THE DAWN
by GoldAngel2
Summary: My 3rd Speed Racer storyafter a tragedy occurs Speed is on the verge of walking away from both the Mach 5 and his careerCan Racer X help his brother through the darkest time of his life? Thanks Jen for your helpthis wouldn't have happened without you
1. DAY OF DISASTER

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Author's Note: Here's my third Speed Racer story. I actually got the idea for this one as I watched my favorite episodes of Gatchaman and noted the angst and guilt in Ken during episodes 39 & 40. I thought that the same angst and guilt displayed in Speed might be interesting to explore, considering his compulsion to always save the day. Also, his reaction at the crash scene in episode 26 "The Car Hater" inspired the idea to portray what his reaction would be if Trixie had ever gotten seriously hurt in a car crash so I married the two ideas and this was the result. I also used the brotherly closeness of Speed and Rex/Racer X (I just love their relationship). Special thanks to Jen who spent time reviewing episodes and sending me details that could be used so she is in fact my collaborator in this story, and to Oriana who affirmed my view of Speed as having quite bit of angst deep down. Once again I do not own Speed Racer—it's the property of Speed Racer Enterprises and DIC.

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BEFORE THE DAWN

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Part 1-DAY OF DISASTER

"AND THE FIELD OF CARS HAVE JUST BEEN GIVEN THE WHITE FLAG, SIGNALING THE FINAL LEG OF THE 2500 MILE TRANSCONTINENTAL RACE. THERE IS A REAL BATTLE TAKING PLACE BETWEEN THE MYSTERIOUS RACER X IN CAR NUMBER 9 AND THE DRIVING SENSATION FROM THE GO TEAM IN CAR NUMBER 5, THE MACH 5 DRIVEN BY SPEED RACER. BOTH CARS ARE IN A STRUGGLE TO THE BITTER END FOLKS!" the P.A. blared as the Formula 1 racers barreled toward the finish line.

Pops Racer and Sparky Sabu were watching from the pit as the two cars drew up to each other, virtually neck and neck as they screamed past the thundering crowd. Spritle and Chim Chim jumped from their perch on the pit wall and had added their voices to the gleeful melee as they cheered Speed on. Meanwhile, as they came within a half mile to the finish, the Mach 5 appeared to get a run on the Shooting Star and pulled past, taking the lead. 

"Oh, Speed, I think we're gonna do it!" Trixie exclaimed excitedly as she looked back and saw the Shooting Star losing ground. She was the navigator for him in this seven day 2500 mile race.

"Uh-huh," Speed answered, his focus on the approaching finish line, his hands gripping the wheel with confidence. "Hang on Trixie, while I bring us home!"

Trixie turned back around and watched as the checkered flag came out and waved as they roared past. Speed eased off the throttle and gradually slowed down as the P.A. announced:

"THE WINNER OF THE 2500 MILE TRANSCONTENTENTAL RACE IS ……SPEED RACER!"

The crowd erupted in a riot, clapping and screaming as Speed made his victory lap and became louder as he drove to the grassy infield and did a few doughnuts on the grass in celebration. He grinned at Trixie and the two of them giggled like schoolchildren as he finished and headed for the winner's circle.

They both doffed their helmets and exited the Mach 5 to the popping of flashbulbs as the press corps took picture after picture while Speed put his arm around Trixie and walked her to the podium for the presentation of the trophy.

The president of the International Racing Commission placed the walnut and brass trophy in his hands and spoke into the microphone. "It gives me great pleasure to present this award along with the grand prize purse of $500,000 to the winner of the Transcontinental Race, Speed Racer!"

Applause and cheers rained down from the grandstand as Speed cradled the trophy with one arm and waved to the throng with the other, a broad smile on his classically handsome face. He snuck a wink at Trixie as she beamed up at him with pride shining in her sea green eyes, as much an adoring fan as anyone in the spectator seats. The clapping and whooping was nearly deafening. And as usual, the female contingency of the spectators were gathering around, bathing the comely young racer in adulation, much to Trixie's annoyance, even pushing her aside to get to Speed. Trixie sighed resignedly as she decided to not fight city hall and stood to the side to let her boyfriend have his spotlight. The typical ending to every race this year so by this time, she was used to it.

A few hours later, as the Go Team was preparing to pack up everything to head home, Pops called a meeting in the main trailer. Sparky, the crew, Speed, and Trixie all took seats around, the latter two sitting together on the circular sofa in the corner. Speed had his right arm slung across the back of the sofa and had his hand resting lightly on Trixie's shoulder. Spritle and Chim Chim sat on the floor next to Speed and Trixie.

Pops came in with a jovial smile and took a seat before the group gathered. He addressed them cheerfully, "Well, we did it, gang. Another win for Pops Motor Sports. Well done."

Everyone smiled in gratitude for the complement as Pops cleared his throat to continue. "And since the next race isn't for three weeks, I'm hereby giving everyone a ten day vacation before having to prepare for the next race."

Every person in the room stared at Pops as if they had not heard him right. "Come again, Pops?" Speed asked, his eyes wide with disbelief. Everyone else reacted the same.

Pops chuckled, "I know it's a little hard to believe but yes, you all heard me right. I said vacation." He glanced around the roomful of stunned faces. "Don't look so shocked. After all, all work and no play, etcetera." The room then began buzzing with pleased acceptance.

Speed leaned over and whispered to Trixie. "I guess I'm not dreaming after all."

She grinned and whispered back coquettishly, "Do you want me to pinch you to see if you're awake?"

Speed grinned back and whispered, "Control yourself, baby." He then stood up and announced, "Well, if that's the case, I'd like to head up to the Stoney Mountains and the Crystal Lodge with Trixie for some R & R.

Pops eyed him steadily. "I hope that you'll have separate rooms." He frowned in disapproval, but Speed held up his hand.

"Relax, Pops. They have suites up there with more than one bedroom and we'll be good. We just want to get some rest after the race, we're both bushed."

Spritle's eyes grew wide. "A lodge in the mountains! D'ya hear that, Chim Chim? We're goin' to the mountains, I bet there's a lot of groovy things to do up there. So what're we waitin' for, let's go." He and Chim Chim made to scamper off but Pops detained him.

"You aren't going to the mountains, Spritle. You'll be going with Mom and me," Pops informed him as the youngster's elfin face pouted.

"But I wanna go with Speedy," he protested, flopping down with his arms crossed stubbornly.

Pops opened his mouth to retort but Mom Racer intervened gently, "Well, Spritle if you feel that way, I guess you don't want to go to Wonderworld with Pops and me."

Spritle's eyes became wide as saucers. "W-Wonderworld? The big park with all the rides an' stuff?"

"The very one," Mom replied smoothly.

"Oh boy, I've always wanted to go there! D'ya hear that, Chim Chim? We're goin' to Wonderworld!" The boy could hardly contain his excitement as Speed silently mouthed "Thank you" to his mother who smiled as her youngest launched himself into her arms.

Later that evening, Trixie was in her trailer, kneeling on the floor, packing for the vacation. Her heart was pounding with anticipation and her own trepidation for she was feeling a bit uneasy, though she didn't know why. She was still folding and packing when there was a light rapping on her door.

"Come in," she called out and Speed opened the door and entered.

"Hiya, Trix. You almost all packed?" he asked as he took a seat on the bed.

Trixie nodded, "Uh-huh. We leaving in the morning?"

"Uh-huh. Bright and early. I called and made a reservation under 'Happy Doodle'," Speed told her with his arms crossed.

Trixie giggled, "Your alias, huh? Why may I ask?"

"Simple. I don't want to deal with the press intruding on us getting the rest we need for the next race. They could care less about Happy Doodle and his girl."

Trixie finished packing and closed her suitcase. She tried to push the case closed to lock it and got nowhere. "Hey Happy, how about sitting on my case so I can get it closed?"

Speed slid off the bed and sat on the case while Trixie reached between his legs to snap the locks closed. As she pushed back, Speed's sapphire eyes twinkled at her and he ran his fingers down her cheek.

"We're gonna have a ball up there, Trix. There's all kinds of activities, swimming, boating, horseback riding, hiking—you name it."

Trixie's eyes sparkled like the stars in the night sky. "It sounds just groovy."

"Yeah, it will be. And we'll be all alone," he leaned over to steal a kiss but Trixie got to her feet and walked over to the table to put some toiletries in a small open case. A bit put off, Speed rose and walked over to her.

"Hey, what gives? I was only going to kiss you," he protested.

"I know but we need to be careful. Lately, when you kiss me Speed, it seems like it's getting harder for the two of us to stop," she pointed out, her back turned to him.

"Something wrong with that?"

Trixie turned to reply and found him right up against her, his arms trapping her against the edge of the table. As always, his presence was intoxicating, as she was pulled into the ocean blue depths of his eyes. Her resolve flagging, she allowed his arms to slowly move up and encircle her waist as he drew her to him. His mouth came down and teased at hers, not allowing himself to be denied of her sweetness. She moaned softly as his kiss deepened.

Finally he drew away and breathlessly Trixie said, "That's what I mean, Speed. Can we be alone together in a lodge suite and know when to stop before things get too far?"

Speed said reassuringly, "The suite's got two bedrooms, honey. Both with doors. And it's not like we haven't shared lodgings together before. Remember that time in Scotland, we all shared the room and your bed was right next to mine. I was a good boy then, wasn't I?"

"You didn't have a choice."

"Yeah but I admit it took forever for me to fall asleep, knowing that you were only two feet away from me. Yet, I didn't do anything but think about you till I finally fell asleep."

"Yeah, but--"

And the times we had to share a room with Spritle and Chim Chim. Now you know, nothing happened then. I wouldn't try to put the moves on you with my kid brother right there to get a too-early education," Speed pointed out. "But I couldn't help but steal a good-night kiss, I am only human you know. And the time in Hong Kong when we shared that suite in that classy hotel."

"Humph! How could I forget? You were ga-ga over that Princess Peddle and hardly knew I was alive. You offered to take me out to dinner and then proceeded to drool in your water over her while I was trying to have a conversation with you," she recounted waspishly, her arms crossed.

"Yeah and you kicked me! With a leg like yours you could punt for the New York Giants," he protested and rubbed his shin. "I still have the bruise."

"Well, what other way could I get your attention? Honestly Speed, sometimes you're so obvious. And you just don't know how it makes me feel," Trixie pouted, turning her back on him.

Speed was immediately remorseful. He grasped her shoulders to make amends. "I'm sorry, honey. I really don't mean to go off about other girls like that but sometimes I can't help it. But you know there's no other girl for me." He nuzzled her neck as he wrapped his arms around her tiny waist. "And believe me, I knew then and I know now that you're very much alive."

Trixie sniffed but before she could voice her protest Speed turned her around and captured her lips. She sighed and just melted into his arms energetically responding with her own fervor. They gradually drew apart

"So," he asked huskily as he cupped her face in his hands. "Am I forgiven?"

Trixie lowered her lashes coyly. "I guess so." 

"And I think that we'll be okay in the same suite but I gotta say that even though we'll have our own rooms, I'll be having a hard time falling asleep knowing you're in the other room." 

"I know," Trixie acquiesced. "I will, too. Believe it or not Speed, it's just as hard for me, I've been quite aware of you in the bed next to mine as well those times we were all in tight quarters."

"Maybe that was why Pops always had Spritle with us. To keep us on our best behavior," Speed said quietly as if the temptation was easing and his own sense of responsibility was kicking in. He moved back a bit and contemplated her thoughtfully. "You think this might be a bad idea, going away alone together?"

Trixie studied him and noticed the uncertainty in his eyes. She thought about the idea of spending time, hiking, swimming, and just being with him in other ways than racing and that thought alone was enough for her to convince him that it was a good idea. Besides, they would sleep in separate rooms, so they would not be tempted beyond what they could handle, they had too much respect and concern for each other.

She placed her hands gently on his chest. "I think it's a terrific idea. We both have goals and plans and we know that if we get too carried away, that our plans could be ruined."

Speed smiled affectionately at her. "Yeah, you're right as always." He leaned in for a small kiss then said, "We'd better sack out if we intend to leave early so I'd better split. Good night, Trix." He turned and left.

The next morning as the sun rose, Speed and Trixie were up and on their way to the Stoney Mountains. It had been still dark at 6 AM when they both loaded their bags in the trunk of the Mach 5.

Speed opened the trunk and placed his and Trixie's bags in then slammed it shut as she approached. He grinned crookedly and said, "I was half expecting Spritle and Chim Chim to be in there when I opened the trunk up to load it."

Trixie tittered, "Yeah, it's almost like we can expect them to be there automatically."

Speed took her elbow and helped her to the car door, opened it and assisted her in. "Thanks to Pops and Mom for taking them to Wonderworld. Otherwise, they'd have found some way to horn in on us." He strode over to the driver's side and climbed behind the wheel, then turned the key to start and rev the engine. "Well, we're off," he said as they pulled away.

The ride began as the sun was rising painting the sky in delicate hues of pink and orange that chased away the darkness. Speed had turned on the tape deck and they had surrounded themselves in the sounds of Motown as they tooled along the nearly deserted highway. They both sang along with the tape, laughing and having fun as the Mach 5 zipped along. 

Two hours later and halfway to the lodge, Speed and Trixie stopped at a small roadside diner for breakfast. To keep their anonymity intact, Speed parked the Mach 5 in the rear of the diner and pulled in between a large tree and a dumpster. They donned sunglasses and stepped into the diner finding an unoccupied and relatively private booth at the rear. They ordered breakfast and enjoyed their meal in rare but cherished privacy. After they were finished, Speed and Trixie were on the road again.

It was about 11:30 when Speed turned the Mach 5 onto the mountain route that would take him and Trixie up to the Crystal Lodge. The road was modern but challenging, ten miles with plenty of twists and turns as it wound up to the lodge. Speed began the ascent but as he maneuvered the first bend, he frowned in dismay.

"Hmm, I don't like how that feels," he said aloud to himself.

Trixie perked up immediately. "Is everything okay, Speed?"

Not wanting to alarm her, Speed turned and smiled reassuringly. "Everything's fine, honey. The wheel just feels a bit loose is all. Nothing to be worried about," he said, feeling a tinge of worry inside.

Trixie looked at him with an expression of concern on her pretty visage. "If you say so," she said grudgingly.

"I do, but just to be on the safe side, I'm gonna pull over and take a look, okay?" Speed turned the wheel and parked the Mach 5 on the side of the road. He turned off the motor and hoisted himself over the side. He then walked to the front and raised the hood to take a look. After a short interval, he leaned out and called to Trixie, "Trix, would ya push Control A for the autojack, please?"

"Sure." She did as he asked and the Mach 5 rose up about seven feet so Speed could get under the chassis and look. He came back out and asked Trixie, "Okay, let 'er down."

She did as he bade and the Mach 5 lowered to its normal position. Speed strode to the trunk, opened it and withdrew his tools. He slammed the trunk closed and headed back to the front and leaned again beneath the hood. 

Her curiosity getting the better of her, Trixie opened the door and came out to where Speed was busy checking on the master cylinder of the steering. She peered under to investigate.

"What's the problem?"

Speed continued his diagnostic and found a loose belt. Using his crescent wrench to tighten the tensioner he answered, "The steering needs a slight adjustment. No big deal." He continued twisting the wrench to tighten the belt.

"How long you think it'll take?" she wanted to know.

"Not long. So why don't you just go back in the car and relax, Trixie?" he asked in a slightly impatient tone.

"Okay, I won't bother you." Trixie flounced off and reaching in the front seat of the Mach 5, retrieved her camera to take some pictures. With the sun up and shining brightly, the mountains and surrounding scenery were alive with vivid color, wildflowers scattered everywhere in a rainbow of colors. She walked a good distance from the Mach 5 and snapped some pictures of the beauty that encircled them. She sat on a rock staring at the rushing water of the brook, silently fuming _Why do I even bother coming anywhere with him? Half the time he could care less that I'm even around. Sometimes, he makes me so mad!_

Finally, Speed completed his repairs and closed the hood firmly as he wiped his hands clean of grease. He looked over at the empty cockpit of the Mach 5 and then worriedly searched around for his missing girlfriend. He found her by some rocks sitting and watching a babbling brook that ran 20 feet away from the edge of the road. Remembering his brusque dismissal of her earlier, Speed gradually made his way over to where Trixie was to make peace. As he came closer to her, he admired how the soft sunshine caused her chestnut hair to shimmer with golden highlights and encompassed with wildflowers against the backdrop of the sparkling water, gave her the appearance of an angel in a Raphaelite painting. He drew up to her and peeked over into her face.

"Hiya," he said smiling.

Trixie looked up and then turned away. "Thought I was in your way," she sniffed.

Speed sighed, "I'm sorry I was short with you, baby but I was trying to adjust the steering and the thing was giving me fits. Forgive me?" He pleaded with his eyes wide and hopeful as he reached to caress her cheek.

Trixie took a deep breath as she swung herself around on the rock. "I just asked you a question," she said petulantly, with her face turned away.

Speed took her chin in his hands and turned her head so he could look into her eyes. "I know, but you of all people know how I am when I get under the hood of the Mach 5. It's like I'm in a different dimension. But that's no excuse for snapping at you, I'm very sorry." His cobalt eyes begged for forgiveness as he proffered his hand to help her down.

Trixie sighed and said softly. "You're forgiven. I didn't mean to make such a big thing out of it, I'm just tired." She took the hand he offered to assist her down from her perch and hand in hand they walked back to get into the Mach 5.

They were back in the cockpit of the Mach 5 and Speed fired up the engine to continue on their way. He reached and put another tape in the deck and soon they were surrounded with the sounds of Motown again. 

Trixie grinned at him and said, "I think it's so great that we like the same music along with everything else we like about each other."

Speed returned the grin. "Face it baby, we're made for each other. Seriously Trix, there isn't another girl out there that I want to be with more than you."

"Oh Speed, that's so sweet of you to say."

"Why not? It happens to be the truth. You know, I've gone out with a lot of girls but you're the first one that I actually feel like I can be myself with. And you're a terrific spotter, navigator and team member. Besides that my family adores you."

"I really love them too," Trixie said. "You've all been so great to me since we first met, especially after my dad died. I had felt really alone and you all made me a part of your family. That means the world to me." She began to feel her eyes tearing.

Speed noticed immediately. "Hey now, no tears. We're going on a groovy vacation, and we're gonna have a lot of fun. So no crying, okay?" 

Trixie nodded sniffling and smiling. "You're right but I always get like this when someone touches me."

"What'd ya mean? My hands haven't left the wheel," Speed said innocently with a gleam of playful understanding in his eyes.

"Oh, you!" she said, patting his arm.

They were halfway up the mountain where the lodge was when they reached a particularly twisting part of the road. Speed expertly maneuvered the Mach 5 around a bend that was sharp and then headed into another but found to his alarm that the steering wheel had locked and they were headed full speed over a steep rocky embankment. 

"Ohhh!" Speed roared. "Hang on, Trixie!"

"Ahhh! Speed!" she shrieked as the Mach 5 took flight. 

He tried activating Control A for the autojack but found to his alarm that it was not working. The car landed on its wheels with a jolt and rolled uncontrolled over a field of jagged rocks. Speed tried to engage the special treads of Control B but they too were malfunctioning. He tried desperately to wrestle with the immovable steering wheel and pumped the breaks, trying every skill he knew to gain back control of the careening vehicle but to no avail, they still tumbled down the incline until finally, its momentum spent, the Mach 5 came to a rest against a flat stone with a jarring thud. 

Speed was slumped over the wheel, shaken and groggy with the force of the blow. He slowly raised his head and shook it to clear it then checked his body to see if he was hurt. He then glanced over at the passenger side. "Trix, you oka--," he began and then noted with panic that she was gone, her seat belt torn right off. 

Terrified, Speed hoisted himself up and over the console and then hurdled the passenger door to the ground scanning the rugged landscape frantically. "Trixie! Trixie, where are you? Trixie!" he called but she was nowhere in sight.

He began to get more frightened until his eyes spotted a bit of pink with crimson, the colors she had been wearing about 50 feet down another steep rock-strewn embankment. He rushed over and what he saw made his heart drop to his stomach then rend into pieces.

"Oh NO! _ Trixie!!_" Speed screamed as he descended the hill, leaping over rocks until he came to her side. He blinked his eyes unbelievingly as if the sight was part of some kind of gruesome vision or a macabre nightmare as he slowly knelt down beside his unconscious girlfriend.

She was sprawled on a bed of rocks, her head hanging back with a stream of bright red blood running from her temple down her cheek. Her slender body was bent into angles from the jagged tops of the sharp rocks she had landed on making her appear like a child's discarded rag doll. Her face beneath the blood had a pale ghostly pallor as if the life had already left her body.

His vision blurred by tears, Speed reached to take her slim shoulders in his arms to gently cradle her, letting her limp head rest on his shoulder. He lightly patted her cheeks to try to snap her out of it and was thankful that she was still alive, although her breathing was shallow.

"Trixie, speak to me, baby, please," Speed croaked, his voice hoarse with emotion. "Oh please, sweetheart, say something!"

Unknown to Speed, several people had witnessed the accident and were skittering down the embankment to lend their assistance. An especially burly man with a receding hairline came down to where he was, holding Trixie's broken body. 

"My friends and I saw what happened, fella. Is there something we can do?" the man said softly his hand on Speed's slumped shoulder.

As if in a trance, Speed looked up blankly into the man's compassionate visage. "Huh?"

"Is there something you want me to do?"

Speed blinked again vacantly as his tears flowed unabated. He tossed his head towards the Mach 5. "Radio. In car. Get an ambulance. Please hurry," he said, his voice breaking. He clutched Trixie's limp form close against his body as if he were willing his life into her.

The man nodded and leapt to chamber back up to where the Mach 5 was and when he spotted the radio, reached in to do as Speed asked. Meantime, two other men made their way to the young couple, one carrying a blanket. He approached the two cautiously.

"Here, I've had some first aid. She needs to be covered, to lessen the chill from shock." He carefully spread the blanket across Trixie as Speed continued wordlessly holding her as if she were about to be snatched away from him.

The first man came back down and joined them. "Ambulance is on its way. By the way, I'm an off-duty state trooper buddy, so what happened?"

Speed gazed numbly at the man as he replied, "My steering locked and we went over the edge."

The off-duty officer nodded. "How about you kid, are you okay?"

Speed nodded mutely, his eyes blinded by the hot rivulets running down to his cheeks as he continued holding his precious bundle. He murmured softly to her rocking back and forth, oblivious to everyone and everything as he clung to Trixie for dear life. He didn't even hear the piercing wail of the emergency vehicles as they arrived at the road above.

The officer stood up and waved as the three emergency personnel came scampering down to the rock bed to Speed and Trixie's side carrying life support apparatus and a stretcher. They arrived and knelt beside Speed and Trixie, gently taking her from Speed's arms.

"Don't worry sir, we're going to take good care of her. You need to let go of her," one of the paramedics insisted softly to the stricken young man, removing his bundle from him.

"No, don't take her away from me!" Speed howled jumping to his feet but the officer restrained him as the paramedics loaded Trixie on the stretcher.

"Take it easy, pal. They're just gonna bring her up to the ambulance. By the way, do you or the lady have any ID?" 

Speed watched as the emergency workers made their way up the embankment and like a robot, reached in his back pocket for his wallet. He tossed it at the officer who opened it and looked inside.

"Speed Racer, huh? So that car there must be the Mach 5. Congratulations on winning the Transcontinental Race," the officer said obviously impressed.

Speed groaned impatiently. The last thing he wanted to deal with now was fan adoration when Trixie's life was hanging on by a thread. "Look, if you're finished, I'd like to get up to the ambulance and ride with my girlfriend," he said irately as he was watching the paramedics climb to the top of the embankment.

"Sure thing, Speed. I'll see to it that your car gets back to you." The officer handed back Speed's wallet.

"Yeah, okay," Speed said disinterestedly, his mind on Trixie. He bounded up the rocky incline toward the ambulance. 

At the top of the embankment and to the road, the men carried the stretcher bearing Trixie to the waiting ambulance. Once inside, they began taking her vitals and picked up the radio to inform the ER nurse as to her condition. 

Breathing heavily, Speed got to the back of the ambulance as one of the men was climbing out. He snatched the man by the collar. "Where is she? I'm goin' with her!"

The man eyed the anxious young man dubiously as he extricated himself from Speed's grasp. "Of course, sir. If you don't mind, what is the young lady's name?"

"Trixie, Trixie Shimura."

The man made a note on a clipboard he was carrying. "Okay, sir. Just climb back there and you can ride with her to the hospital." 

Speed needed no further prompting. He vaulted into the back of the ambulance as the EMT closed the door and then sprinted to the front seat and climbed behind the wheel. He started the engine and they were off.

As they sped to the nearest hospital, siren screaming, Speed sat beside Trixie, holding her hand in both of his and spoke gently to her. "Hang in there, baby. We're gonna have you there in a jiffy." He brushed her hair back out of her eyes gently. But there was no response from her as they rushed to the hospital so Speed closed his eyes and felt his tears flow again.


	2. BLEAK DIAGNOSIS

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Part 2-BLEAK DIAGNOSIS

The ambulance pulled into the emergency room entrance to Pondview Hospital, in the town of Rockville, 15 miles to the east of the Stoney Mountains. The ambulance turned and backed into the automatic double glass doors and was met by nurses and orderlies as the driver cut the motor and strode to the rear of the vehicle to open the door. The two EMTs climbed out, followed by Speed who stood to the side as they reached in to withdraw the stretcher bearing Trixie. The nurses and orderlies then took the stretcher and ran into the emergency room with Speed right behind. As they entered the examination room, the door was firmly closed in his face, causing him to become deeply distressed.

"Please, can't I go in with her? I want to be with her, please!" he begged to the orderly who closed the door.

"I'm sorry, sir but only the immediate family is allowed. Hospital rules."

"B-but, but I'm--" he stammered but a nurse approached him and gestured to the waiting room.

"If you'll take a seat there, sir we'll let you know when the doctor is finished," the nurse said in a soft but firm manner as she directed him to the waiting room. Sighing, Speed went over to a seat as the nurse disappeared into the examining room.

Speed went and sat in the waiting room in a daze like he was sleepwalking. The entire ordeal was like a bad dream to him and he foolishly hoped that he would just wake up and find that he was in his bed. But, as the minutes then hours ticked by and nobody came out of the emergency examining room, Speed was more aware that this, indeed was reality, Trixie was in that room fighting for her life. He closed his eyes as his heart pounded with dread and hope combined, an oxymoron of emotions swirling in his soul.

He was still in locked in his fearful musings when the piped in radio over the intercom interrupted its format of inane elevator music with a news bulletin.

**__**

This just in. Formula 1 racecar driver for the Pops Motor Sports Go Team, Speed Racer, was just involved in an automobile accident on Stoney Mountain route 113. Racer, winner of the Transcontinental Race, was unhurt but his girlfriend who was accompanying him was rushed to Pondview Hospital in serious condition. More details as they become available. We now return you to our regularly scheduled programming.

Speed sighed disgustedly. It certainly didn't take long for the media vultures to pick at the carrion of his life, however tragic. He shook his head as he got up to pace around the room to release his rising anger and stopped at the window staring bleakly out overlooking the neatly manicured grounds of the hospital, flooded with bright cloudless sunshine. Speed was struck by the irony of the paradox that was the darkest day of his life being so sunny, it was unnatural. If only the weather was like his spirits, he could justify the crash that could end up being responsible for killing his love.

Speed went back and took a seat, sitting with his elbows propped on his knees and his face in his hands, the picture of utter desolation. He had no idea of the passage of time or even what time of day it was and didn't even look up when the automatic door slid open and somebody sat beside him with a familiar gentle, caring touch. 

He looked up into compassionate, ocean blue eyes like his, belonging to Mom Racer. At the sight of his mother, along with Pops, Sparky, and a subdued Spritle, Speed broke down, clinging to his mother and sobbing like a frightened little boy.

Pops sat down in the other chair flanking him and asked softly, "We came as soon as we heard. What happened, son?"

Speed gazed over at his father's craggy but concerned face and replied, "Me and Trixie were headed to the lodge and the steering got loose so I got out to fix it. We started on our way again and as we were going around a curve, the steering locked and we went over the edge. Trixie was thrown from the car." He shuddered as he relived the entire incident in his head.

"What about the controls on the wheel?" Pops wanted to know but the examining room door swung open and a tired looking doctor came out and approached as Speed shot to his feet, his father's question forgotten.

The doctor approached Speed. "Mr. Racer?"

He anxiously answered the doctor. "Yes. H-how is she, doctor?"

The doctor eyed him and the group steadily. "Are you her family?"

Before Speed could answer, Pops stood up and replied, "Yes, doctor we are. How is she?"

The doctor gestured to the chairs they just vacated. "Please sit down."

With looks of worried anticipation the Racer men sat back down as the doctor pulled up a chair before them. Sparky took a seat and Mom picked up Spritle and held on to him on her lap as they all focused on the doctor and waited for him to speak.

"First, my name is Dr. Kyle Wellby and I've done some tests on Miss Shimura. A CAT scan revealed that she's suffering from an acute epidural hematoma from when she hit her head when she was thrown from the car. In layman's terms it means she's had some bleeding from a torn artery between the dura and the skull at the bottom of her head, right here." He gestured to his own head, behind the left ear.

Speed gasped with his eyes wide and Pops asked, "What does that mean?"

The doctor sighed and continued. "It usually means that we'll have to perform surgery on her if the intravenous medications won't stop the bleeding. But she needs to come out of the coma first."

Speed was incredulous. "S-she's in a coma?" he said in disbelief shaking his head as if to push the fact out of his head that was too painful to consider.

"I'm sorry," the doctor said. He looked around at the stricken group and continued, "I'm afraid that's not all. There are some complications."

The Racers all looked at him in horrified fascination, waiting for the next blow to come. The doctor cleared his throat and said with difficulty. "Miss Shimura developed some cardiac distress during the tests due to the shock of the injury. And therefore, she's been transferred to Intensive Care and will be monitored for the next 48 hours. If she doesn't come out of the coma or goes into acute cardiac distress, she could die."

"W-what are her chances?" Speed asked fearfully.

"I'm afraid it's about 30/70. The odds drop if she doesn't come out of the coma in 48 hours. That's the crucial time."

"Oh no!" Mom Racer cried as Spritle burst into tears, sobbing on her shoulder. Pops just looked stunned and Sparky put his head down, shaking it back and forth slowly.

Speed's reaction was the most gut-wrenching to observe. He looked as if the whole world came crashing down on him as he mutely put his head back with his eyes closed tightly, tears running freely down past his lashes onto his cheeks and off his jaws, making wet spots on the royal blue shirt with the gold "G" emblazoned on it. Inside, his heart felt as if it was torn from his chest cavity and a cold chill was blowing through it as the doctor's words echoed like in an empty cavern **_she could die, she could die, she could die. _** His breathing became hollow and he seemed to be in a catatonic state.

Pops took note and knelt before his middle son. He grasped Speed's shoulders and shook his son to snap him out of it. "Speed, Speed son, come on. You gotta be strong now, son. For Trixie."

Speed opened his eyes and the look of total despair was etched in their cobalt depths made Pops blood run cold. He said gently, "She's gonna get through this, son. You have to believe it."

"What if she doesn't, Pops? If she dies, I don't want to live," he whispered brokenly, tears running down his face. "And it'll be all my fault!"

"What do you mean, your fault? It was an accident, Speed. It could've happened to anybody," Pops tried to reassure him but shaking his head vehemently Speed got up and walked away and over to the window now showing the twilight of early evening. 

He said tonelessly, "I adjusted the steering and I screwed up something so the wheel locked and we crashed. It's my fault."

Sparky got to his feet and put his hand on Speed's slumped shoulders but Speed shrugged them away. He tried again. "Look, Speed buddy it's not your fault. I'm a mechanic and sometimes the steering can lock for other reasons---"

"Yeah, right! I know cars like you do and I ain't buyin' that, Spark! Trixie's in there hangin' on a thread and if she dies, it's my fault!" Speed snapped.

The doctor who had witnessed the exchange stood up and again addressed the group. "I'm sorry." He made to leave.

Mom Racer asked, "Will we be able to see her?"

He nodded, "Yes, but only for a short while. And from the outside of the room."

Speed rushed over to the doctor. "Where is she? Can I go see her now?"

The doctor nodded again. "She's up in the ICU now."

"Would I be able to stay with her?"

The doctor studied the anxious young man dubiously. "I'm afraid that's impossible."

Speed grabbed him by the shoulders. "Please, doctor. I gotta be with her!"

Pops and Mom exchanged glances and Pops walked up to Speed. "Why don't you come back with your mother and me?" He took Speed by the shoulders but he brushed Pops' hands away and again engaged the doctor.

"Please, let me stay with her," he pleaded desperately.

The doctor studied the earnest misery on the coal haired young man's handsome face and took pity on him. Sighing he said, "All right. You can stay with her. But," he warned, "you must be quiet with no outbursts. She's in very serious condition."

"Thank you, doctor. How do I get to Intensive Care?" Speed asked.

"Through the door and up the elevator to the second floor," the doctor said as he turned and left.

Speed nodded in thanks, relieved that he was allowed to be by Trixie's side and began to head toward the door when Pops laid a beefy hand on his arm to detain him.

"Hey, Pops what gives?" he wanted to know.

Pops folded his arms in front and regarded his son sternly. "Speed, son, your mother and I both think you should come back with us. There isn't anything you can do for Trixie and you need to rest."

Mom put Spritle down and joined her husband. "Speed, your father's right. It's best son, if you come with us," she said gently, taking his hand but Speed pulled it aside.

"I'm not a child so please don't treat me like one. I'm staying right here." Speed was adamant.

Pops glared at him. "We're not treating you like a child, Speed. We just want what's best for you. Besides, the state troopers have contacted us and they need you to file a report. They brought the Mach 5 back to the house."

At Pops' mention of the Mach 5, they all were amazed by Speed's indifference. He shrugged almost casually. "So?"

"So?" Pops echoed in shock. "The Mach 5's our bread and butter and she's your prized possession."

Speed's eyes grew glacial as he responded flatly. "I could care less about the Mach 5 right now. Trixie's more important."

"I wasn't implying that she wasn't but--" Pops reasoned but Speed cut him off.

"Look Pops, the last thing I want to see right now is that car."

"Huh?" Everyone said in unison as they gathered around Speed and looked at him like he was insane. The Mach 5 was Speed's passion and he truly loved the car but to hear him speak, he acted like she was just another vehicle.

Speed stared back at them and said sharply. "I mean it, I don't want to see that car. And not only that, I don't want to race again."

Pops took a deep breath as he digested the bombshell just dropped by his son. He thought a minute then he chalked up Speed's declaration to stress and worry about his girlfriend. He looked at his wife and made one final entreaty. 

"Speed, just come home with us, son. Get a good night's sleep and then things'll look different in the morning. You can come back then."

"Thanks Mom and Pops but Trixie's my girl. I love her and I'm stayin' with her and nothing you say or do is gonna change my mind." Before either had a chance to stop him Speed exited through the door leading to the main lobby and elevator, leaving everyone including Spritle in stunned silence. They all then got up and followed.


	3. THE WAITING BEGINS

****

Part 3-THE WAITING BEGINS

The elevator door opened and Speed stepped out into the Intensive Care Unit of Pondview Hospital, an antiseptic glass-enclosed place that had rooms with glass doors separating them from the nurse's station. Each room had its occupant hooked up to heart monitors, breathing apparatus, intravenous tubes and other forms of technological life-support. Overall, it was a depressing place with death lurking in each corner, in spite of being painted a bright pale yellow. 

Speed rushed up to the desk and asked the nurse anxiously. "I was told that Trixie Shimura has been transferred here from the emergency room. Dr. Wellby said I can see her, which room is she in?" 

The nurse peered up at his worried countenance. "Are you family, sir?" 

Speed opened his mouth but Dr. Wellby came up to the desk and addressed the nurse. "It's okay, nurse. Mr. Racer has my permission to go into Miss Shimura's room and to stay with her."

The nurse did a double take. "Mr. Racer? Speed Racer?"

Speed groaned inwardly as he saw the fan adulation light up the nurse's eyes but if his being a sports celebrity would gain him the acceptance he needed to be by Trixie's side then so be it. He managed a bland but polite smile. "That's me."

"Oh, by all means, Mr. Racer. Miss Shimura's in room 6. It's just around the corner, to your left." She came from behind the desk. "I'll come with you, if you don't mind. I have to get a reading from the heart monitor and check on her meds." 

"Ah--okay, sure," Speed hesitated, hoping she wouldn't gush about his racing. He was really in no mood to bask in the glow of his celebrity, all he wanted to do was see Trixie. Thankfully, the nurse was silent and professional as she accompanied him to room 6.

They entered the glass doorway and stepped in. Speed felt his heart drop to his feet as he viewed Trixie, with a heart monitor, two intravenous bottles, and a respiration monitor all hooked into her slender supine form. The heart monitor registered a traveling dot that peaked with every heartbeat, showing that she was still alive. The nurse approached the bed and began taking readings and then took her blood pressure and other vitals as Speed just stood there staring.

The nurse finished getting Trixie's vitals and gestured to Speed. "There's a chair over there, Mr. Racer. If you need anything the call bell is there." She pointed at the risen bar on Trixie's bed where a push button attached to a cable that went into the wall. She turned and left.

Speed slowly pulled the chair over to Trixie's left side and sat down, not taking his eyes from her. She looked wan and pale, making her appear even more delicate than usual. He took note of the intravenous tubes in each of her arms and the wires that went to the monitor with its continuous beating. She was still breathing unassisted by any device but her breathing was soft and shallow. 

Speed slowly, hesitantly reached to take one of her hands in his. "Hiya, Trix, baby. It's me and I'm gonna stay right here, I'm not goin' anywhere." He gently ran one of his hands on her cheek, which was lukewarm. "Everyone else is here too but they wouldn't let them come in but they're outside the door." He pointed to the glass door where Mom and Pops, Spritle, and Sparky stood, all peering in. "They want you to know that they love you honey, and they want you to get well."

Speed turned his attention back to Trixie. "Oh baby, I'm so, so sorry this happened to you. If I had just left the damned steering alone, you wouldn't be here, we'd be at the lodge right now, sitting in front of a fire and just being together. I was really looking forward to spending some real fun times with you, all alone." He continued caressing Trixie's cheek, studying every inch of her face as if he wanted to record it forever in his memory.

Speed continued gazing at Trixie, his eyes soft and his heart pounding. "You're so beautiful, Trixie. Did I ever tell you that? The day I first saw you I was dazzled, you were the most incredible amazing girl I'd ever seen, even covered in grease from head to toe." He chuckled, "That's what fractured me the most, was that you were so pretty but smart and independent, you really turned me on in a way like nobody else. You're so different from the other girls I've known."

__

Girls—goodness knows there've been plenty. Lorena, Lilly, Sibana, just to name

a few. They always flock to me before and after races, and even when I just walk 

down the street. Before I met you,I loved the attention, like any other red-blooded 

American man but you changed all that, Trixie. I know you've gotten jealous about 

these girls and I'd be a liar if I told you that I didn't like it but I do and believe me, 

sweetheart, you have nothing to be jealous about, those girls couldn't hold a candle 

to you. Even Yvonne Von Vondervon in the Junk Car Grand Prix who caught my 

eye when she was so good at fixing cars, she could never take your place in my heart. 

_No girl could, no princess, no heiress, no daredevil, no lady racer, no girl could or_

would. 

He went on, "I'm so glad that you decided to join the Go Team. I know I never told you this, but knowing you're looking out for me during races adds to my confidence to win. And when there are thugs and creeps out there trying to stop me, you're right there, either flying above me to take care of 'em or by my side, fighting them with as much punch and guts as me. They don't even expect it coming from a pretty little thing like you, but I know that for such a small package you pack quite a wallop. Baby, you're the most."

__

Gutsy—that's a word that describes you to a T, Trix. Nothing stops you, you're 

almost fearless. Remember that time we were in Egypt trying to find Dr. Bone's 

daughter Calcia and the temple fell in on us? I was caught with my feet under a

fallen pillar and a cobra was near me. I got out and started fighting the cobra 

and you shot it, saving my life. You're always there for me, baby, no matter what.

And the time the Mach 5 had lost it's brakes in the Alpine Race and I was sliding 

down an icy slope, you were right there, with your helicopter to save the day. And 

when I tried to help Lightfingers Clepto Jr. and Tongue Blaggard had us prisoner

you came along and rescued us disguised as Lana (I should've known it was you

but you did such a great job disguising yourself, I didn't know it was you, even

when you were all over me). I tell you, none of the girls I went out with before I

met you would ever be able to do all that.

The clock on the wall in Trixie's hospital room showed the time to be just after midnight and Speed was wide awake, still going strong, his adrenaline flowing like a flood through his system as the doctor's words rang in his ears. **_48 hours—a crucial time—she needs to come out of the coma or she could die. _**The endless beeping of the heart monitor accompanied the words playing in his ears like a melancholy tune that wouldn't leave him. 

Nature called, so Speed left Trixie's side to go to the men's room. After he relieved himself, he went to the sink to wash his hands and idly glanced at his reflection in the mirror. He saw a pale visage of worried blue eyes with circles already underneath and a five o'clock shadow of a beard on his chin. 

"You," he muttered to his rumpled image in the looking glass. "If she dies, it's all because of you!"

He then became filled with an overwhelming feeling of self-loathing and in a fit of fury, smashed his fist into the mirror, shattering it. Sighing, Speed put his head down as he braced each side of the white basin, now filled with shards of broken glass and dotted with drops of his blood from his cut knuckles. He then stood there as more memories played a midnight matinee in his mind.

__

Protecting you, Trix—it's something that came as natural to me as breathing. I always 

felt I should protect you, no matter what scrape we got into. Remember the Anything 

Goes Race and we were chasing the Mammoth Car? We followed it to the refueling

station and Cruncher Block's goons tried to kill us. I pushed you down and pulled you

under me so they wouldn't get you. And the time we were in Abalonia and President 

Montebank was targeted by assassins and they came after us, I pushed you behind me,

protecting you again. It's been my favorite pastime watching out for you since you've

made it your mission in life to watch out for me. And I did a pretty good job of it till

now. I really screwed up that steering and now, because of that, you're on the verge

of dying. I'm such a damned fool! 

There was a knock on the door and someone asked, "Are you okay in there, Mr. Racer?"

Speed closed his eyes and answered, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be out in a second." He shook his head as he surveyed the damage his rage and frustration wrought. He reached up and tore off some paper towels to blot the blood still dripping from his hand and opened the door to let himself out.

Two nurses stepped aside when Speed exited the men's room and immediately noticed his bleeding hand. "Oh Mr. Racer, your hand! You need to get it treated so come over to the nurse's station." They led him to the station and sat the depressed young man down to clean and dress his wound with him barely acknowledging the action. His cuts treated, the head nurse then tried to convince Speed to lay down in a room made up with a bed for family members of seriously ill patients so he could get some rest but he refused and returned to Trixie's side to continue his worried vigil.

Speed re-entered the room and stared at Trixie. Maybe it was the darkness of the wee hours and the pale light provided by the overhead florescent light casting an almost eerie glow over the bed but he couldn't see any movement at all, she was so still. Just the continuous beeping of the heart monitor assured him that she was still alive, otherwise there was absolutely no sign of life in her. Not one sign of the life and joy, which was so much of her that she lit up his life, like a ray of summer sunshine.

__

You always believed in me, Trix. From the moment we began getting close, you made

me believe that I could do anything, that nothing is beyond my grasp. Your faith in me

sustains me and pushes me to achieve greatness. Even when Pops forbid me to go 

forward in racing you were the one who made me believe in myself. You talked me into

entering races that Pops, because of his own fears, told me that I couldn't and subsequently 

I was able to prove to both him and myself that I could enter and win. And I did win, with

you right by my side. As a matter of fact, there were times I doubted but you wouldn't

let me. Remember the time we were discussing my first real race against Racer X and 

you told me I was not the type to let anyone stand in my way. And I wrapped my arm

around you and said that was so because you wouldn't let me let them. Just knowing

that you're supporting me makes me believe in myself that much more.

Speed sighed as he sat back down beside Trixie's bed. He leaned over the bar and studied her, letting his eyes glide down the outline of her sheet covered body and noted the lissome delicacy of her figure, a figure that appeared fragile but was deceptively strong and agile. She was so nimble on her feet, that teaching her martial arts moves was one of his favorite things to do with her. When they weren't racing or riding in the Mach 5, he often would spend time doing katas with her, things he's learned after so many years of martial arts training and he was pleased to discover that she had taken to it like a duck to water and showed an above average aptitude for it. That just served to endear her to him even more. And like him, she looked at life as an adventure, enjoying challenges but differing from him by being cautious where he would just go forward full steam most times without thinking. She was yin to his yang, a stabilizing force that kept him grounded and focused. 

_A real fighter. That's another thing I really love about you, honey, you're a _

fighter. You give as good as you get and nothing fazes you. The most sinister,

vile, crooked crook or thug doesn't stop you from helping me achieve my goal

and win my races. You always are there to help me stamp out evil plans of 

those who would pervert races for their own selfish designs. You sure are no

shrinking violet, baby. And you fight better than most guys I know, I'm sure

glad you're on my side 'cause I sure wouldn't want to be on your bad side and

meet you in a dark alley. 

Speed then thought about his and Trixie's individual backgrounds. She had been brought up with the privileges that vast amounts of money provided, her father's transport business at one time the very best in the lucrative sport of racing. Her life had been lonely but filled with material luxuries to offset the early loss of her mother and her father's involvement in his business. In spite of all that, she had grown up relatively unspoiled, humble and down-to-earth. His life however, was diametrically different as his family was not wealthy, although Pops had worked as the top designer in one of the biggest car manufacturers in the world, he was constantly using his salary to develop his own new engine designs. They weren't poor but there were times that money was a bit tight as Pops would take the extra money, after the basic needs of the family were met, and pour it into another engine design to achieve his ultimate goal of designing the fastest car in the world. He was a technological genius and being such, like all geniuses he was dedicated to his craft. As his son, Speed too had been dedicated to his craft, racing had been his dream growing up and his avocation in his teens. Cars were his passion from toddlerhood and boyhood as he watched and idolized his father then his brother. Now that he was a young adult, it was his vocation, his chosen field, and how he wanted to earn his living. But now he was teeming with doubts about the whole thing. If Trixie died he just didn't know if he could bear staying in racing, now there were too many memories of races with her by his side as he was victorious. The very idea of not having her there to spur him on with her love and loyalty was just too painful to consider but was a possibility that he now faced. With a moan of anguish, Speed put his head down on Trixie's flat stomach and cried.

__

Please, please don't die, baby. I can't even think about life without you, we've

shared every aspect of our lives. The idea of living without you is impossible, 

for you are my life. You're a part of me, Trixie, sweetheart and if you die, I'll 

die along with you, life won't ever be happy for me again. Don't you know that 

you are the light in my life, my special gift from God? You came into my life

and immediately you were indelibly inserted permanently in my world. Nothing

matters now except you getting through this and I'm gonna go through it right

with you, nothing or nobody is gonna take me away from right here by your side.

You can't give up, Trixie, you're not a quitter, haven't you told me that before?

Well, that means you can't give up and leave me! 

Speed's thoughts had caused him to doze off and then he was jolted to awareness by the steady scream of the heart monitor. He glanced up and saw the screen flatlining and then the door slid open with a bang as the staff burst in and pulled him away to get Trixie's heart started again as she slipped into cardiac arrest.

A nurse pushed Speed out of the room as Dr. Wellby came in. He addressed Speed, "You'll have to stay out here for now." He then pushed the glass door closed and Speed watched as the group of nurses and doctors worked feverishly to get Trixie's heart beating, pressed up against the glass like a little boy with his nose up against a candy shop window. He felt a cold chill of dread envelop him as he whirled about and ran to the elevator suddenly needing to escape, unable to bear witness to the life and death struggle his girlfriend was engaged in any longer.

His vision blurred by tears, Speed ran out of the hospital front door, breathing heavily as he looked blindly about. The sun was beginning to rise, heralding a bright and sunny new day and he wanted to scream at the sky and demand how dare it be so clear and bright when it was the darkest day of his life, the day his love was inside the hospital dying. His eyes then fell on the unmistakable form of a sleek white car parked in the nearly deserted parking lot, the Mach 5.

Speed slowly walked up to the vehicle, his eyes vacant and focused on the familiar machine. Pops must have dropped it off during the course of the night thinking Speed might need it. But as he came up to the car, he became filled with a rage like he had never experienced before and he began kicking the front quarter panel viciously with all the force he could muster.

"You! If the steering hadn't gotten loose, I'd have never tried to fix it and we'd never have crashed and Trixie wouldn't be in there dying. You worthless piece of junk!" he railed as he continued his assault on the Mach 5. Speed's hands balled into fists and ignoring the bandaged knuckles of his right hand he pounded on the hood of the car like a boxer pummeling a punching bag. His knuckles showed red through the bandages as he began bleeding once more.

He continued battering the Mach 5, his anguish and fury combining to enshroud him in a red haze, oblivious to anyone and anything that was around him. His tantrum was noticed by hospital staff coming in to work and they basically cast a curious eye at the famous racer beating on his car. They had all heard the news bulletins so they were aware who he was. Nobody, however, felt impelled to approach the infuriated young man.

Unknown to Speed, the low-slung yellow and black car with the 9 on the door crept into the parking lot and parked under a tree unobtrusively as the masked driver extracted himself from the cockpit. Arms crossed, he stood and watched his younger brother as the young man continued attacking the car that drove him to victory so many times. Racer X felt his heart constrict in pain for Speed as he observed him in his anguish yet he stood back, knowing that the time was not right to offer his help, that his kid brother needed the release. 

Finally, his anger and energy spent, Speed ceased his thrashing and sank to the ground on his knees, his arms hanging on the hood of the Mach 5, sobbing in abject misery. He barely noticed when two strong yet gentle hands grasped his shoulders and slowly lifted him to his feet. His eyes still swimming with tears, he turned his head and saw the black and white mask of the enigmatic man who always seemed to show up when he needed him most. He fell against Racer X, his legs becoming weak as Rex held his baby brother and cried with him.


	4. BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH

****

Part 4-BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH

The ICU staff at Pondview Hospital was continuing to work at a fever pitch to get Trixie's heart restarted. First they tried massage which was unsuccessful, then CPR and finally shock. While he was involved in saving the young lady's life, Dr. Wellby kept a worried eye on the clock, realizing that all he had was ten minutes. . . . . 

Meanwhile Trixie was walking down a long dark corridor toward a very brilliant white light, drawn to it like a mosquito to a streetlamp. She finally got to the light, a place that had wisps of feathery clouds among the brightest light she had ever seen. She also took note of her attire, she was dressed in a diaphanous white gown that floated about her. Trixie was puzzled as she approached what seemed to be two easy chairs set up like a waiting room. A handsome man in a white suit was sitting in one and he smiled a warm greeting as he gestured to the other chair.

"Ah Trixie! I've been waiting for you. Please sit down."

Trixie remained standing on her guard. "Waiting for me?"

"Yes, my dear. Please have a seat, this is not to harm or frighten you so please." He again gestured and something about him spoke of authority so Trixie did as she was told.

"Pardon me sir, but who are you?" Trixie wanted to know.

The man chuckled, "Of course, how rude of me. I was sent by the Almighty to meet and explain things to you. I'm commonly known as the Angel of Death." 

"T-the Angel of Death? Does that mean I'm—dead?" she stammered softly.

The man smiled, "Usually, when I'm called in it does but this is a special case. The Almighty sent me to speak to you about your special task."

"M-my special task?"

"Yes. You see Trixie, everyone is assigned a special task by the Almighty when they're born and it's everyone's duty to complete that task. Everyone has a special duty as a servant to Him."

"I see." 

"He gives everyone gifts or talents and it is their job to use those gifts in a way that pleases Him, that promotes Right and helps point others in the direction of Righteousness which is Him." 

Trixie nodded digesting everything. She thought about God quite a bit after her father had passed away and she and Speed had often discussed Him. She had even accompanied his family to Sunday services when the team wasn't racing and attended trackside services with Speed at some of the races. It was another thing they had shared, a strong faith, which was why Speed was so adamant about doing the right thing always.

She looked earnestly at the Angel of Death. "You said that this meeting with me was a special case?"

The man nodded, "Let me ask you a question. How are you feeling, Trixie? Are you tired?"

"A little bit," she admitted.

"Ah, no wonder. You've had quite a time. It must have taken quite a bit out of you."

Trixie nodded, "That's true but the Transcontinental Race is what really did me in. Seven straight days of racing, both Speed and I were exhausted. We both were looking forward to our vacation."

"You want to rest though?" the Angel commented.

Trixie yawned, "Oh yes, I'd love to rest. As much as I love and support Speed, racing really wears me out. And I have such a headache from the accident. I'd love to sleep."

"Well, Trixie it's not time to rest. The Almighty feels that you have much more to do with and for Speed. Especially now."

Trixie's eyes widened. "What do you mean, especially now?"

The man sighed, "He's very distraught right now about what has happened. He's getting ready to turn his back on the path set before him."

Trixie's eyes became even wider as she leaned forward. "Why? What happened wasn't his fault. Oh poor Speed!" she exclaimed, her heart constricting in pain for him.

"I know that, you know that, and so does the Almighty but Speed doesn't and right now he's ready to completely turn his back on everything. And that can't happen because it's the will of the Almighty that he continue to race and be a positive role model for young people. And he needs to keep fighting against those whose desire is to do and promote evil. He has a strong will to do right always, there are few in the world like him and the Almighty needs him to keep on."

Trixie asked, "What can I do to help him?"

The Angel smiled, "You need to go back and get well. Right now, he thinks he's losing you and that's making him want throw everything away. You see Trixie, it's your task to stand by him, help and support him. And most importantly, your love sustains him. Once he sees you fighting back and not giving up, he'll regroup and get back on track. He loves you and if you're by his side he'll be focused on his task again."

Trixie nodded, "I completely agree." She glanced around. "How do I get back?"

The Angel smiled broadly as he took her hands and helped her to her feet. "Nothing. Just close your eyes.

Again, Trixie did as she was told. As she had her eyes closed, scenes from the last year on the Go Team flashed in front of her. The Alpine Race and her and Sparky saving Speed's life, the race in Egypt where she saved him from a cobra and he saved her from being burned to death, the time they thwarted the crook Acey Ducey and got Pops plans back, the time Speed's plane crashed in the jungle and when she tried to rescue him she and Spritle got captured and were going to be enlarged and he came to the rescue. And there were others, the time with the GRX when Speed was mentally affected and when the Alpha Team captured him when they thought he was Racer X. Other scenes flew before her, the time they helped the little blind girl, Delicia, the Pineapple Race when they helped the brother and sister to get the operation they needed, and all those cases they helped Inspector Detector. She remembered being jealous when other girls caught his eye but he always made it up to her in some way. And he always seemed to want to protect her, showing his feelings in very concrete ways. She then realized that what the Angel said was true, her task was to stand by Speed, love and support him as he strives to do right.

Dr. Wellby sighed as the nurses and residents assisting him tried once again to perform CPR. He then called for the cardiac shock apparatus and took the two conductors in his hand. The clock showed a minute and a half, this was the last attempt. If she didn't come around this time, she would be declared dead. He placed them on Trixie's chest.

"1-2-3 Clear!" the doctor called as the electric shock went into her chest. He watched the monitor screen and saw the dot jump and the straight tone began to beep, showing that Trixie's heart had begun to beat once more. Dr. Wellby breathed a sigh of relief along with the other staff as they all wearily filed out, their adrenaline gone.

Outside in the parking lot, Speed had calmed down as he and Racer X sat on the hood of the Shooting Star. Racer X turned and studied his little brother to see how he was faring.

"You okay, Speed?"

Speed glanced over at the masked man and replied dully. "Uh-huh. As well as can be expected I guess." He stared ahead with his arms crossed over his chest.

"You know, you need to head back to Trixie's room and find out what happened."

Speed sighed deeply. "Yeah, I know but Racer X, I'm scared to death that I'm gonna go up there and she'll be--"

"Gone?"

Speed closed his eyes as he again felt the sting of tears and nodded wordlessly.

Racer X asked softly, "Would you like me to come with you?"

Speed opened his eyes, gratitude glowing in their cobalt depths. Again he nodded silently.

Racer X hopped off the car and slung an arm around his brother's shoulders. "C'mon kid, let's go see what's gone down." They headed back into the hospital but Speed restrained him.

"Racer X?"

The man turned, "Yeah?"

Speed shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down in shame. "I've been feeling kinda guilty about some things and I wanna talk to you about them, okay?"

Racer X stopped and faced his brother, "Okay, shoot."

Speed took a deep breath, "Sometimes, I-I've been well, kind of big-headed and at times have taken the people that matter most for granted."

Racer X nodded, "Yeah?"

Speed continued, "Especially Trixie. I know she's totally devoted to me and at times I've been sort of a jerk about it. I mean, gawking at girls even when she's right next to me."

Racer X gazed steadily at him. "Speed, you're a guy and all us guys look. But you need to know that when you have the real thing with a special woman, you never make her feel that those you look at are more important than she is. You'll learn as you get older."

"Yeah, but what if it's too late and she's gone? And that's my fault too because if I hadn't tried to adjust the steering the wheel wouldn't have locked and we wouldn't have crashed. I've lost the best thing that's ever happened to me," Speed said in anguish.

Racer X took hold of the young man's shoulders. "Speed, get a hold of yourself. We don't know if she's gone till we go back up there and see for ourselves so let's go." He took Speed's arm and shepherded him to the hospital entrance.

They entered the hospital and walked in the elevator, words at a loss. Speed was silently praying _Please, God let her be alive still, please don't take her away from me. I promise I'll never look at another girl again just please, please don't take her away from me._

The elevator door opened and both Racer men approached the nurse's station. Speed asked hesitantly, "Is Trixie Shimura still in room 6?"

The nurse smiled and nodded, "Yes, sir she is."

Speed felt his knees go weak with relief. "C-can I go and see her?"

"Of course, Mr. Racer. You go right ahead."

Speed and Racer X headed down the hall and stopped at the glass sliding door with a "6" over it. Speed slid the door open and the sweetest sound he ever heard was the heart monitor beeping as the dot jumped. He smiled and took his seat near her bed, picking up her hand and holding it in both of his.

"Hiya, baby. I'm so glad you're still with me. I thought I'd lost you," he said brokenly as his tears began to flow.

Racer X looked down at his brother as Speed gently caressed the lovely but still face of the girl in the hospital bed and his heart went out to him. It was quite obvious that Speed was head over heels in love with Trixie and genuinely devastated by her condition. Rex found his own eyes tearing up as he continued to observe Speed's tender way.

Speed continued, "I'm so sorry, Trix. For everything, for taking you for granted and acting like a stupid, arrogant fool. For causing you to doubt me at certain times, I love you so much. And I'm sorry I caused us to crash, I never should've tried to fix the steering." He laid his head down in the bed and was startled when he felt Racer X's hand on his back.

"Take it easy, Speed. I'm sure she knows that you're sorry and that you love her. She's never done anything to make you think otherwise, has she?" 

Speed shook his head. "But if she doesn't come out of this and dies it will be my fault. I tried to fix the steering on the Mach 5 and something caused the wheel to lock up."

Racer X answered, "Speed, there are a lot of reasons that the steering could lock. It was an accident, you didn't deliberately fix it so you would crash. And Trixie's a strong and healthy girl, she'll come out of this."

But still steeped in guilt, Speed just continued shaking his head as if he couldn't believe that he didn't have a hand in causing his girlfriend's present condition.

Both Racer men spent the entire day in Trixie's room, by her side silently watching her as the monitor beeped endlessly and the day passed into night. The two barely recognized when nurses came in to take vitals for each 4 hours and when they came in to check and change intravenous bottles. It was about 7:30 in the evening when Racer X had finally convinced Speed to go to the cafeteria with him to get something to eat. He bought Speed a meal but all the young man did was stare at the tray, pushing his fork around.

Racer X quipped as he finished his plate, "The next time I take you out for dinner, I'll bring less cash." He wiped his mouth with a napkin.

Speed sighed, "Sorry, Racer X. I guess I'm just not hungry." He pushed the plate of untouched food aside and propped his chin in his hands, morosely staring ahead.

Racer X leaned back and with arms crossed studied his brother intently. "You're still beating yourself up over this aren't you?"

Speed nodded miserably as Rex continued, "Listen to me, Speed. Cars like all machines can malfunction, sometimes due to human error and sometime simply just because all motor vehicles have moving parts that do wear out. And especially racecars, that are run at high speeds and extreme conditions."

Speed nodded, "I know but—Maybe I'm not cut out to race. I really don't even want to drive the Mach 5 anymore and if Trixie dies—I'll scrap it."

Racer X's eyes widened in the slits of his mask. "You're not serious, Speed. I mean, you can't be!" He was incredulous as he saw the dispassionate expression on Speed's face that affirmed his statement. He tried a different tact. "How would you explain that to your father?"

Speed shrugged indifferently. "He'll have to face my decision. I'm a grown man and I can make my own choices in my life." Racer X chuckled causing Speed to bristle. "What's so funny?"

Racer X shook his head. "Nothing really. It's all quite tragic, that you'd throw a burgeoning career away and you think that makes you a man."

Speed's eyes narrowed as he responded acidly, "And what the hell's that supposed to mean?"

Racer X's smile faded as he regarded his younger brother. "It means that a grown man doesn't throw his dream away even in the light of the greatest loss of his life. And the kicker is that all these plans of yours are premature, based on a great big 'what-if'. That's pretty childish."

Speed pursed his lips as he stared stonily at the masked racer. "You don't understand, Racer X! Trixie's been at my side through this entire year as we entered races and it would just be too painful to continue. Every time I'd get in the Mach 5 I'd hear her voice or smell her perfume. But you've never had a woman that meant that much to you, so why should I expect you to understand."

Now, Racer X's eyes narrowed. He contemplated the young man sitting across from him and answered softly, "And what makes you think I haven't?"

Speed took note at the subtle change in his dinner companion's demeanor and immediately regretted his last comment. But it was too late, the masked man leaned on the table and into Speed's face.

"About five years ago, I had hired a girl to be my navigator named Julie Farrell. She always hung around the track I practiced at and she knew her way around the garage. She was also a superb racer in her own right. And she was the loveliest creature I ever laid my eyes on. Golden hair that hung below her shoulders and eyes the color of a tropical lagoon."

"She sounds like she was gorgeous," Speed commented.

"Indeed she was. But she also was the best navigator I ever had. We spent quite a bit of time together at the track then we began spending time together off the track. One thing led to another and then I gave her my ring and asked her to marry me."

Speed listened intently. "And?"

Racer X's eyes became remote and sad. "One day we were practicing and my car got loose in the turn. We spun and hit the concrete wall on her side and her head hit the wall full impact. I got out of the car and watched as the medical team at the track extracted her from the car and we rushed her to the hospital but it was for nothing, she had died instantly with a broken neck."

Speed lowered his head in shame and said contritely, "I'm sorry, Racer X."

"For six months after Julie died I was devastated. I didn't even want to see a racecar, let alone drive one. I had pretty much cut myself off from everyone and everything. Then one day as I wallowed in my sorrow, I heard Julie's voice speaking to me and she told me that just because she was gone didn't mean I should throw my dream of racing away, that I could go on and race for us both. So I got myself together and headed back to the track and now every race I run, I do it for me and for Julie."

Speed sat quietly and reflected on the story Racer X had just shared with him. The masked racer went on quietly, "No matter what tragedies happen in our lives, none of us can escape our destinies."

"And racing is yours?"

Racer X nodded, "As it is yours. Speed, no matter what happens with Trixie, your destiny is to race for you possess what everyone in this profession aspires to but only few can lay claim to, a true racer's soul."

Speed sat there stunned by the statement. **_A racer's soul. _**It made sense, he always felt one with the Mach 5 from the time his father finished building it and presented it to him. It was a car but it was more, it was a companion and the freedom he felt at the wheel was like God had gifted him with wings and he was soaring like an eagle in the firmament. He sighed as he faced the fact, as deeply and profoundly as he loved Trixie, if she were to be taken from him and he had to go on, he would go on pursuing his dream and destiny, racing in the Mach 5. True it would never be the same without her beside him but she would be permanently in his heart and with him always. He suddenly felt ready to face whatever lay ahead.

Speed rose slowly to his feet and offered his hand to Racer X. "Racer X, thank you. I don't know what lies ahead but I know that whatever it is, I can and will face it."

Racer X took Speed's hand and shook it. "I know you will." He and Speed headed out of the cafeteria and to the elevator. He turned to head out but before he did, he said, "Just remember Speed, it's always darkest before the dawn." Before Speed could respond, he strode to the exit and disappeared. 


	5. DAWN ARRIVES

****

Part 5-DAWN ARRIVES

Speed headed back up to the ICU, his mind spinning with what Racer X had said. He rode in the elevator thinking _Wow, all this time and I never knew that Racer X was carrying all this sadness around with him. I guess it's true, still waters run deep. But a girlfriend who died, poor guy! And they were engaged. Trixie and I aren't engaged, at least not yet, but I do love her very much and I wonder if I could be as strong as he is if I lost her. _

The elevator door opened and he stepped out and headed toward Trixie's room. He slid open the door and walked in as a nurse was taking readings and getting Trixie's vital signs. She smiled a greeting as she continued doing her work and he took up his seat next to Trixie.

The nurse took Trixie's respiration, pulse and blood pressure and with a pleased look made notations in her chart. Her reaction caught Speed's attention and with his heart pounding asked, "Excuse me nurse, but how is she?"

The nurse smiled and replied, "Her vitals look much better than before."

"Is that a good sign?" Speed inquired hopefully.

She nodded, "Yes, sir it is." She turned and exited the room.

Speed turned back and reached his hand to gently stroke Trixie's forehead. "Are you starting to come back to me?" he said softly. "Are you getting ready to open those big beautiful green eyes that make my knees turn to jelly every time you look at me. Are you getting ready to speak to me in that voice of yours that's sweeter than any music I ever heard? Are you, Trix?"

__

Oh Trix, I need you so much! You are everything in my life that's right and

good. I wake up in the morning and you're the first thing I think about. When

I'm driving or racing and you're not riding with me, I think about when I can

see you again. I can talk to you about anything and even when I'm a jerk, 

you forgive me and give me another chance. Which reminds me, I'm sorry 

that I ever made you feel badly when I was attracted to other girls. I know 

that it really bugs you and sometimes I took you for granted so please forgive

me, baby. I'm a sucker for pretty faces but you should know this, as pretty

as I might have thought those other girls, I think you are by far the most 

beautiful girl I have ever seen. I'm so glad that you're mine.

And all though you may not think it, and I don't show it when I've seen other guys 

look at you part of me wants to brag and gloat and say hands off, that you're mine 

and the other part wants to knock their blocks off. Remember the time we met 

Dr. Fantasy and he drooled all over you? I know he was an older man but the 

way he looked at you made me want to pop him one. And Prince Omar who me

and Kim Jugger rescued with you when we were in the Sahara Desert? I saw 

how he was so attracted to you and deep down it really bothered me. I've even 

seen Sparky checking you out and it really ticks me off sometimes, we've even

talked about you and I swear he'd have gone after you if I hadn't beat him to it. 

And when we ran into to Rusty Muffle, I saw his eyes on you after I introduced 

you and it bugged me the way he smiled at you. Then that creep that was 

working with Freeload during the Junk Car Grand Prix that had nabbed you, 

I told him to take his filthy hands off you and I swear I wanted to tear him apart 

for threatening you.

So it boils down to this—You have to get well—I need you by my side because

although I know I would continue racing if you were gone, it would never be

the same. I would always remember you and me fighting and racing together.

You're a part of me, Trixie and I'm a part of you, separate but together even

though we're not married, I feel that we are soul mates, that there isn't another

girl out there that is made for me like you. So please, please baby, come back

to me! 

Speed laid his head on Trixie's bed, hanging on to her hand like a drowning man clinging to a piece of flotsam to keep from sinking. His eyes were transfixed, drinking in the sight of her piquant, lovely face in repose, the bow shaped mouth, upturned nose, and long sooty lashes now resting on porcelain cheeks like a prone, delicate china doll. _How could I even look at other girls when I have this beautiful girl right in front of me? She's mine but I don't deserve her so maybe that's why I'm at the brink of losing her, I'm such a fool _he mentally lambasted himself as he drifted to an uneasy sleep. Speed was then dreaming, he and Trixie were at the beach and they were both in the waves laughing and carefree like children. He was chasing her, and her musical laughter danced on the salty breeze as he spotted her as she ducked under a wave to disappear. Smiling, he came forward to reclaim her for a sea-sprayed kiss but she was nowhere in sight. Getting panicked when he could not find her, Speed repeatedly dove under the water to frantically search for her and then finally he spotted her. As he swam to get her, just as he was about to grasp her hand, she floated away, her eyes staring and her body lifeless. He cried out in fear, "Trixie! Trixie!"

"Trixie!" Speed called hoarsely as he started awake. He lifted his head up and glanced around to get reoriented and discovered that he was still in the hospital at Trixie's side. He shook his head to bring himself to full awareness and glanced at the clock, 3:45 AM. He sighed as he realized that it was now three days since the crash and that Trixie was still in her comatose state.

Speed sighed again as he got wearily to his feet. He stretched and walked over to the window to look out at the world that continued moving at its breakneck pace, outside the hospital walls. He scanned the night sky, studded with stars visible due to the fact that Trixie's room faced the back of the building where there was a wooded area with no other light source. He watched the stars as his mind wandered and wondered what lie ahead. He heard Racer X's voice as he shared his wisdom earlier.

**__**

"When you have the real thing with a special woman, you never make her feel that those you look at are more important than she is."

"A grown man doesn't throw his dream away even in the light of the greatest loss of his life."

**__**

"No matter what tragedies happen in our lives, none of us can escape our destinies."

"You possess what everyone in this profession aspires to but only few can lay claim to, a true racer's soul."

"Remember Speed, it's always darkest before the dawn."

Before the dawn Speed mused as he watched the early morning sphere. The sky was indeed black as pitch, the eastern horizon inscrutable from the western, northern, or southern horizons, dark like a void, a total absence of color. 

He whispered a prayer. "Dear God, please let Trixie come back to me. She's everything to me and if I lose her, I'll have no life it'll just be an existence, my joy will be gone forever. I know that I don't deserve her Lord, but if you send her back to me, I promise she'll never have to doubt me or my love again. So please, please don't take her!" Speed beseeched as he stood at the window gazing at the heavens. 

Then as he watched, Speed noticed the palest lightening of the eastern horizon, turning the dark to ultramarine, to a soft hue of royal blue then as the light advanced, to a deep cobalt then cerulean as the sun peeked above the lands edge. The dark was receding as the sun climbed slowly up, sending away shadows and bathing the landscape with the light of a new day. Speed stood there, mesmerized by the spectacle until he heard a dearly familiar soft, husky voice.

"S-Speed? Is that you?"

At first, Speed thought that his lack of food and sleep had caused him to hallucinate that he was hearing Trixie's voice. Then he heard it again.

"Speed?" Trixie called weakly.

The first thing he saw as he whirled around was her eyes, fluttering lashes that uncovered her sea green orbs as she moved her head with excruciating slowness. Broken from his trance, he rushed to her side, his vision blurry with tears of gratitude as he leaned over her.

"Trixie? Baby?" he asked timidly, afraid he was dreaming.

She managed a wan smile as she reached for him. Speed needed no further prompting as he wrapped his arms around her feeling the warm life that was emanating from her body. They drew apart slowly and she focused her eyes on him in the dim early morning light.

"Oh Speed, you're crying! I'm sorry to make you cry."

Speed shook his head and gave soft sob with a bright smile. "Happy tears, angel. I thought I lost you." He wiped at the warm rivulets streaming from his cobalt orbs as he sat in his chair and took her hand in both of his. "How are ya feeling?"

"My head hurts."

"No wonder. You took quite a shot on the head."

Trixie nodded, "How about you? Are you okay, Speed?

He grinned at her. "I am now that you're awake."

Trixie took note of the circles under his eyes and his growth of beard. "You look so tired, Speed. Haven't you had any sleep at all?" she asked worriedly.

Speed chuckled, "Listen to you. You're here battling for your life and you're worried about me. But that's just par for the course for you, Trix. You always put others first but now you need to come first. I'm gonna go tell the desk that you're awake."

"Okay. But please come back," she said.

Speed smiled, "You bet. Wild horses couldn't keep me away." He turned and exited the room.

Trixie leaned her head back on the pillow and sighed, her head beginning to throb. The door slid open and Speed, Dr. Wellby and a nurse entered. Speed took his seat beside her bed while the nurse began taking Trixie's vitals.

The doctor smiled and greeted her. "Well, welcome back, young lady. How're you feeling?" He leaned forward and flashed his penlight in her eyes to examine her.

Trixie blinked her eyes. "Tired and sore. I have the worse headache." She reached her hand up to her forehead as Speed's hand caressed her cheek. 

"We'll give you something for the pain. In the meantime, we'll observe you for the next 6 hours then have some more tests to see if surgery is necessary. So get some rest, okay?" He turned to the door to leave.

The nurse took her temperature, pulse, and blood pressure then checked her respiration and heartbeat. She marked everything down in Trixie's chart then said, "I'll be back with a painkiller as soon as the doctor prescribes it. If you need anything else, just ring for us." She opened the door and took her leave.

Speed and Trixie were silent, their eyes trained on each other as if they both were afraid the other would vanish. Trixie breathed softly and asked, "Speed?"

"What, sweetheart?"

"Would you do me a favor?"

"Uh-huh. Name it," he replied, brushing her hair out of her eyes.

Trixie gazed intently at him. "Would you please go home and get some rest?" 

Speed returned the regard. "I'm okay, Trix. Stop worrying."

"Speed please. You look like death warmed over. I'll be okay and I'll rest better if I know you're getting some rest," she insisted.

Speed protested, "I don't want to leave you, honey. You just came back to me." He grasped her hand and planted at kiss on it.

"You need to get some rest, Speed. Or am I going to have to have you thrown out?"

Speed sighed, acquiescing, "Okay, okay, you win. But I'll be back later." He leaned down to plant a soft kiss on her cheek. "Is there anything special you want me to bring?"

Trixie nodded and replied softly, "You." 

Speed grinned, "You got it. Bye, baby." He reached and gently captured her lips in another gentle kiss then turned and left. 

Satisfied, Trixie closed her eyes and drifted off.

Speed headed into the elevator and when the door closed he leaned back feeling a myriad of emotions rush through him. He was exhausted but elated and relieved as he closed his eyes and mouthed a silent "Thank you," his head cast upward. The door opened and he walked toward the exit.

He headed toward the parking lot, hesitating as he spotted the Mach 5. It was there where it had been 24 hours before when he took out all his anger, frustration, and fear. Strangely, it bore no sign of the abuse Speed had heaped upon it in his emotional outburst but just stood there patiently as he drew closer, waiting like an old, faithful friend. 

Speed reached in his pocket for the key and then he leaped over and into the driver's seat. He inserted the key and turned, and the engine answered with its usual purr, as always responding to his touch. He breathed deeply and spoke.

"Forgive me," he said as he stepped on the clutch and shifted gears. "Let's go home." He drove out of the parking lot turned and headed in the direction of the rising sun.


	6. NOT OUT OF THE WOODS YET

****

Part 6-NOT OUT OF THE WOODS YET

Home. It had been good to be at home for a while. Mom and Pops both were up when Speed crept wearily in. Mom had leapt up from where she was having morning coffee with Pops at the kitchen table as Speed came in the kitchen.

"Oh Speed, son it's so good to see you!" She embraced her middle child as he laid his head on her shoulder and returned the hug, releasing all his pent up emotion. Pops got up and patted Speed's back as he sought comfort from his parents.

He finally pulled away, wiping the moisture from his tired eyes. Pops regarded his son kindly and asked, "How is Trixie?"

Speed sank into a kitchen chair and sighed, "She came to just a little while ago. But we almost lost her last night, she went into cardiac arrest. And she's gotta have tests tomorrow to see if she needs the surgery"

"Oh!" Mom exclaimed. "Why didn't you call us. Speedy? We'd have come down and made sure you weren't alone."

Speed shook his head. "I didn't think of it. Anyway Racer X was there and he stayed with me all the while."

"Well, that was awfully nice of him," Pops commented but Mom Racer studied her son thoughtfully. _Hmmm, that sounds just like something Rex would do if he were around, stay right by Speedy's side, helping him. _She then remembered how Rex always watched over his little brother when they were outside playing, watching out and making sure that the other boys in the neighborhood wouldn't pick on his baby brother. _Racer X always seems to be around when Speed needs someone, I wonder. . . ._

Her attention was immediately drawn to her middle son who folded his arms on the kitchen table and laid his head down, completely exhausted. Mom Racer shook herself out of her reverie and took charge.

"All right, Speed, you need to go to bed. Now," she said crisply, practically pulling him up by his shoulders. He rose slowly without protest as she shepherded him toward the stairs. There a sleepy eyed Spritle met them as he was descending with Chim Chim in tow. His chocolate eyes widened as he viewed Speed.

"Speedy! You're home! How's Trixie?" the precocious youngster bombarded his older sibling with questions but his mother turned and shushed him with a finger on her lips without breaking stride.

"Spritle, leave your brother alone. He hasn't slept in three days and needs to go to bed. You can ask him about Trixie later." Her tone brooked no argument as she guided her second born to his room.

Spritle watched as they climbed the stairs. He turned to Pops who was watching from the kitchen and looked up at him beseechingly. "Pops, is Speedy going to be okay?"

Pops smiled down at his youngest. "I hope so, son." He sighed worriedly.

It was after 4 in the afternoon when the elevator door opened and a rested, freshly showered and shaved Speed walked out and made his way to Trixie's room carrying a bouquet of white roses. He peeked in the glass door before entering just to reassure himself that she was still there and became alarmed when he saw her bed was empty but then laughed shakily as he remembered that she was probably having tests like the doctor had said earlier. He slid the door open and stepped in placing the roses on her nightstand.

Speed scanned the room and was amazed by how familiar it felt. True, he still despised hospitals but having spent the better part of 72 hours within the portals of the room, it felt almost homelike. He asked the nurse's aide to find a vase for the roses and he placed them in there and put them back on the nightstand while he waited for Trixie to return.

Speed had just sat in his chair by Trixie's bed when the glass door to the room opened and two orderlies pushed a stretcher in bearing his girlfriend into the room and toward the side of the bed. They gently lifted her and placed her on the bed under the watchful, wary gaze of the coal-haired racer who got to his feet to supervise the proceeding. They reached to spread the sheet on her but finding their attentiveness toward his girl irritating even though it was their job, Speed took the sheet out of their hands.

"That's okay, fellas. I'll take care of that," Speed insisted, his eyes pinning the men as they looked at him inquiringly. They then glanced at each other as they saw Speed cover Trixie carefully with the sheet and then shrugged as they left.

Trixie eyed Speed askance and remarked, "Taking control of the wheel again, huh Speed?"

Speed grinned at her and leaned down for a kiss, "Old habits are hard to break. So where'd they take you?"

Trixie pushed herself up. "I had another x-ray and a CAT scan. They also took some blood. Honestly I thought I was a pin cushion." She sighed tiredly as she pressed her temples. "I really don't care what they have to do as long as they find what's giving me this headache. I feel like my head's gonna explode."

Speed reached over and stroked her cheek. "I'm sorry, baby. Is there something I can do?"

Trixie shook her head miserably. Then Speed got an idea. He sat up on the bed right beside her and took her in his arms so she was reclining with her head on his right shoulder.

She looked up at him and said, "Not that I mind, but what are you doing?"

Speed smiled down at her. "You'll see." He reached his right arm around her shoulders, cradling her and brought his right hand up to her right temple and his left hand to her left. He then began to massage her temples with his fingertips in slow, rhythmic circles. "How's that feel?" he asked softly.  


"Hmmm, just wonderful," Trixie replied as she snuggled closer, resting her cheek against his while he continued his ministrations. "Maybe you missed your calling, you should be a therapist."

Speed chuckled, "Yeah, if you were my only patient."

The door slid open and Dr. Wellby entered. He gave a wry smile as startled, Speed extricated himself gently but rapidly and got off Trixie's bed. "Hiya, doctor," he said with a sheepish look.

The doctor nodded with a slight smile. "Sorry to have interrupted you, but I have the results of your tests, Trixie."

Both Trixie and Speed waited as the doctor cleared his throat and continued, "Well, it's like we've thought all along, the headaches are the result of the bleeding in your dura right behind your left ear. The medications have stopped most of it but there's a place in the dura right behind your ear that is still bleeding. Has the codeine taken the edge off the pain?"

Trixie sighed, "Not really."

Dr. Wellby went on, "Then I'll prescribe something a little stronger but I'm scheduling you for surgery tomorrow at 9 AM."

Speed asked, "Is that necessary, doctor?"

"It is if we want to get rid of the pain." He turned to Trixie, "Do you have any other symptoms?"

She nodded, "A little blurred vision but it's not continuous." Speed's eyes widened in concern at this revelation as he sat down beside the bed.

The doctor nodded, "Okay, then. You'll be prepped for surgery tomorrow at 8:30 and be brought to the OR at 9. Have a good evening and if the pain gets worse, let the desk know." He left the room.

Speed studied Trixie intently. "So you're having blurred vision. Why didn't you tell me?"

Trixie pushed herself up slowly and with stiffness. "I didn't want to worry you," she said feebly.

Speed took a deep breath to expel his annoyance. "I'm already worried about you, Trixie. Keeping things like that from me isn't going to make me worry less," he admonished.

She lowered her lashes and whispered, "I'm sorry. Speed. I didn't mean to make you mad."

Speed leaned closely to her. "I'm not mad. It's just that I happen to care deeply about everything concerning you and when you don't tell me it, well, it hurts," he said softly.

Trixie reached and ran her hand across his forehead, brushing his hair back. "Oh Speed, I'd never, ever want to hurt you. I just saw what this whole thing has done to you and I didn't want to add to your burdens." She turned her head away in shame but he captured her chin in his hand and gently turned it back to face him.

"Listen, baby. I want you to know something. You are not now nor have you ever been a burden to me. Don't you know that you're the light of my life? And whatever and I mean _whatever_ affects you, I want and need to know about. Okay?" He probed her with his ocean eyes sparkling with his heart burning in their depths.

She smiled and nodded, "Okay." She then grasped his hand with both of hers and held it against her cheek until she drifted off to sleep.

Speed watched her as his heart pounded with the strength of all his love. Trixie was the one who always stood by him and backed him up to the hilt no matter what, now it was his turn, nothing would take him from her side while she went through this ordeal. He continued caressing her as he gazed at her slumbering, studying her and taking inventory of every beloved inch of her beauty. He remained in that position until visiting hours were up and realizing that he'd be back early the next morning before her operation, he reluctantly left.

The next morning, it was 8 AM when Speed came back to Trixie's room. She was lying in the bed with a look of trepidation on her pretty face that temporarily disappeared when she saw her smiling boyfriend's handsome face. She sought refuge from her rising fear by losing herself in his ocean blue eyes which as always were drawing her into their depths. She reached out her arms for an embrace and he immediately responded, enfolding her slender body and holding her slightly quaking form close to his heart.

"Speed, I'm scared," Trixie said timidly feeling shamed by the fact.

He cradled her head against his broad shoulder. "Don't be, baby. Everything's gonna be fine. Just hang in there."

Speed and Trixie remained locked in each other's arms until 8:30 when the door slid open and an orderly and nurse with the anesthesiologist entered and addressed the young couple.

"Well, it's that time, Trixie," the doctor announced as he stepped toward the bed.

Trixie eyed Speed with a shaky smile. "I guess this is it."

Trixie gave Speed a quick good-bye kiss and hug as he drew away to step aside for the hospital personnel to place her on the gurney. She held up her hand in a thumbs up gesture--the Go Team's okay sign and Speed returned it with a wink as she was rolled away. He then accompanied her as they rolled her in then headed to the waiting room for the OR.

When he got there, Speed saw Mom, Pops, Spritle, and Sparky along with Racer X. The sight of his family gathered there in the waiting room was truly a sight for sore eyes and Speed was filled with gratitude as he addressed them.

"Gee, it's groovy to see all of you here." 

Mom Racer smiled as she embraced her son. "Did you honestly think we wouldn't be here? You're not the only one who loves Trixie, she's like family."

Pops nodded, "That's right, Speed. We're gonna be right here with you waiting for Trixie to come out. She's going to be fine, son."

Speed just nodded with a weak smile and sat down. His mother sat beside him and Speed gazed at her gratefully. The family being here and supporting him meant the world to him. Last night when he arrived at home, he told his parents what the doctor had told him and Trixie bout her test results. He also told them about her headaches and blurred vision. He had completely broken down before Mom and Pops, his fear and worry apparent. They had insisted that he get some rest and assured him that they would be at the hospital. So they kept their promise.

Spritle approached his big brother hesitantly. "H-hey Speedy?"

Speed smiled at his baby brother. "Yeah, Spritle?"

Spritle came right to Speed's side. He handed him a little Mexican doll, the same one he had handed him during the Alpine race when the team had just rescued him. "I brought my good luck charm to give you for today. Just like the Alpine race when he helped you, he'll help you today."

Speed took the little figure with the painted smiling face grinning up at him. It was still a bit scuffed up from its ordeal during that race but he remembered when he had lost his sight, how when he found that little talisman he found the Mach 5 and with Racer X's help, he was able to go on and win the race. He reached and hugged Spritle.

"I remember, pal. Thanks a lot." Speed cradled the tiny figurine in his hands and smoothed the doll's miniature serape with his fingers absently as he thought about Trixie and how she had saved his life during that race with her helicopter when he was sliding down the icy hill. Later as Sparky was fixing the brakes that had failed, Trixie and Spritle had gotten into a bit of a tussle and she ran to him for protection. He had held her close while scolding Spritle and when Spritle had demanded what was going on, they had gotten embarrassed by the very public display of their very private feelings. He had then scooped Trixie up in a fit of pique and tossed her not so gently into the helicopter along with Spritle to quiet them down and he was now remembering the whole incident with regret because he could have been gentler with her. She as always, was quick to forgive and never mentioned it but now he was feeling remorse for his behavior while she was now in the operating room fighting for her life.

With a sigh, Speed got up and paced restlessly in the waiting room, stopping at the window and staring out as his thoughts again held him captive.

_Oh Trixie, I wish I could turn back the clock. I'd have never tried to fix _

the steering and I'd do so many things different over the last year, and I have 

to admit there are times when I wasn't a very good boyfriend. I kind of took 

your devotion to me for granted and wasn't even nice to you. You're a jewel, 

sweetheart, and there have been times I've treated you like glass. Forgive me, 

baby, I'm just such an utter and complete fool at times, with tunnel vision, 

oblivious to those around me and especially with you. You're such an exemplary,

fantastic person, always thinking of others before yourself, I should use you

as an example of what I should aspire to be. I admit I want to be a hero some

times and that makes me forgetful of you but I want to say that the old saying 

"Behind every good man there's a woman" is especially appropriate here. 

Without you behind me, I doubt I could've done half the heroic things I've gotten

credit and notoriety for.

Speed stood at the window with his shoulders slumped, deep in his thoughts for hours when a hand landed on his shoulder causing him to turn and come face to face with his older brother.

"C'mon, let's go for a walk." Racer X said persuasively as he pulled Speed away. 

As they walked past Mom Racer as she held Spritle, she studied the enigmatic man and there was something so familiar about his stature and stride that her heart caught. _He's so attentive of Speed and concerned about his welfare, just like Rex would be _she told herself _if he could be here._

"Mommy?" Spritle's summons brought her back and she glanced questioningly at her youngest. "Racer X is a real good friend of Speedy's isn't he?"

"Yes, darling, he is." Mom smiled at Spritle and then gazed thoughtfully at the portal that the two young men had exited through. She was filled with the feeling that she had just witnessed her two older sons walk by.

Speed and Racer X strode out on the sundeck where the patients and their families could enjoy a breath of fresh air. They both sat down and silently contemplated the immaculately landscaped grounds below while their minds whirled with what was taking place in the operating room and the fragile girl presently under the knife. Speed was picturing Trixie as she always was, her musical laughter and sweet voice echoing in his ears as her pretty face floated in his mind. But Racer X's thoughts were on Speed and his burden and his own heart constricted in pain for what his brother was going through. He had always liked Trixie from the first time he saw her come and congratulate Speed on winning a race and would be proud one day to call her his sister-in-law. She was a real asset to Speed, smart, unafraid, and beautiful.

Speed sighed deeply as he commented, "You really didn't have to come and sit with me, Racer X. I'm sure you've got more important things to do."

Racer X grinned, "Nonsense, Speed. I'm glad to be here with you. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just worried about Trixie. The fact that they're operating on the base of her head's got me kind of uptight." Speed got to his feet and began to pace again.

"Relax, she'll be okay. She needs the surgery to stop the bleeding, right? So just take it easy."

Speed snorted, "Yeah, easier said than done. My heart hasn't stopped pounding since they came in and took her this morning." He sighed again as he retook his seat, staring morosely into the distance.

Racer X leaned forward "Putting yourself in a state over it isn't going to make the operation go faster."

Speed grunted as he continued staring at nothing. He just wasn't in a mood for common sense right now. He began in a faraway voice, "Y'know Racer X when I was a kid, I never thought that I'd have to deal with half the crap and garbage I deal with. All I thought I'd do was drive race cars and win races."

Racer X chuckled, "We seldom find our lives to be what we'd imagined them to be when we're kids. Then, the whole world's our oyster and nothing's impossible." He added wryly, "Then we grow up."

"Yeah. Since all of this happened I feel like I've aged twenty years," Speed remarked. He hung his head as he leaned on the bar of the balcony.

Racer X studied his younger brother. Speed still looked very young yet there was a weariness to him that made him look somewhat older and disillusioned with a bleakness to his eyes. Racer X got to his feet and placed a comforting hand on the youth's shoulder.

"Look, Speed I know that you're still beating yourself up about this whole fiasco but you need to just let it go. It's past and you need to go forward."

Speed opened his mouth to protest but Racer X had had enough of his brother's self-imposed martyrdom and decided to shake him out of it. He took Speed by the shoulders and his eyes bore into him. "You need to grow up, Speed! Trixie's going to need you to be strong as she recuperates and the more you wallow in the self-recrimination for your past mistakes, the less likely you'll be able to accomplish that. Be a man, for crying out loud!"

Speed pulled himself back from the masked racer and glowered, "You sound just like my father! Be a man, be a man! Well, I am a man, damnit and I resent you saying I'm not! I'm accepting my responsibility for putting my girl's life in jeopardy, and that's being a man."

"No it's not. A man lives up to his responsibilities and rights his wrongs then goes on. He doesn't dwell on his shortcomings or mistakes, he tries to find out how to correct them, does and goes forward. You can't put your hand to the plow and look back," Racer X reasoned. He continued, "Remember I said it's always darkest before the dawn? Well, as dawn is the sign of a new day and a new beginning let yourself see this as a dawn or new beginning for you and Trixie. Either that or keep mentally pounding yourself about things that you can't change and stay mired in the past. It's your choice." He walked away.

Speed whirled around and stared ahead angrily brooding. What was more maddening was that Racer X was absolutely right, as usual. He needed to get beyond the self-blame and make things right, go forward and make sure history, in his case, does not repeat itself. He vowed to cherish the rare and priceless relationship with Trixie that he had and make it better. With fresh resolve, he turned to leave the terrace when he saw Sparky heading in his direction with an anxious expression on his features. Speed felt the cold fingers of dread clutch at his spine as his mechanic drew near.

"Speed, c'mon. Trixie's out of surgery and she's asking for you. Everyone's in her room," he panted.

Speed needed no further convincing. He sprinted back into the hospital with Sparky bringing up the rear.

Back in Trixie's room she was just coming around, groggy and disoriented but with it enough to ask several times for Speed. Mom, Pops and Spritle were gathered around her bed.

"W-where's Speed?"

Mom Racer leaned forward. "He's coming, Trixie dear. He had stepped out for some air but Sparky went to get him."

Pops asked gently, "How are you feeling, honey?"

Trixie moaned softly, "Tired but okay I guess."

Just then, the door slid open and Speed and Sparky stepped in. Speed came forward slowly with an affectionate smile. "How ya doin', baby?"

Trixie managed an exhausted smile and lifted her left hand in a thumbs up. Speed reached and grasped her hand as he leaned down to plant a soft kiss on her cheek. Everybody else filed quietly out as the two locked eyes.

"I'm glad it's over," she whispered.

Speed nodded as he was overcome with joy. "Me too." He leaned down and hugged her close.


	7. A NEW DAWN

****

Part 7-A NEW DAWN

The sun was sparkling on the pristine white cinder of the outside of Pondview Hospital as the dark haired young man pushed a wheelchair bearing a chestnut haired girl to the low slung white race car parked at the entrance of the building.

"Speed, this was totally unnecessary. I'm perfectly capable and able to walk, it's been two days since the operation," Trixie protested as he wheeled her to the passenger door of the Mach 5.

"Sorry, Trix but you weren't going to walk all the way out here. You know the hospital staff wouldn't allow it, it's against hospital policy," Speed answered laconically. He continued pushing her toward the car.

"Yeah but I could have. I feel fine, really. You're making way too much out of this," she said peevishly

"Remember you had a choice. It was either this way or I was going to carry you. You chose this way, so live with it," Speed pointed out as he took her belongings from her to put in the trunk. Mom Racer had brought a few things to her the day after the surgery. Speed opened the trunk, tossed the bag in, closed the trunk and came back to assist Trixie into the car. He lifted her and placed her gently in the seat, making sure she was okay than closed the door.

"Yeah, but you're treating me like I'm some kind of fragile china doll that can break easily. I'm not, you know."

Speed leapt into the driver's seat and inserted his key to start the engine. He turned and grinned engagingly at Trixie as he responded, "Well, you're my doll so I'm gonna make double sure you stay in one piece." He shifted gears and the Mach 5 roared away.

Trixie was regarding him in a thoughtful manner as they drove along. He turned and glanced at her inquiringly. "Something wrong?"

She shook her head and turned to the front. She couldn't put her finger on it, but there was something different about Speed, something strange but not unpleasant. Like he was feeling different about her, about them. He seemed to be driving differently as well, with a carefulness that was evident even more so than his usual cautious law-abiding manner. They stopped at a traffic light.

"Speed?"

"Uh-huh?"

"Uh, can we talk?"

Speed gazed at her with a smile as the light changed and he accelerated. "You bet. What do you want to talk about?"

Trixie sighed as she weighed the wisdom of sharing what she had experienced with him. It was true that they shared deep convictions and beliefs and had discussed them at length but she began wondering if it would be a folly to tell Speed about her talk with the Angel of Death. She smiled at him a tad brightly as she replied, "Oh it's nothing. You taking me to your house?"

Speed nodded, "Uh-huh. Where else?"

"Well, I do have my own home, you know," she pointed out.

"Yeah, I know but you'll need someone around to help you recuperate. So we all thought that you coming home with me was the best solution."

Trixie sighed in resignation as she just gazed out the window uncommunicatively. 

Speed took note of her attitude and asked, "What's up, Trix? You seem to be a bit reluctant to come home with me and you seem uncomfortable. What'd I do wrong?"

Trixie turned and regarded him with a tired smile. "You didn't do anything, Speed. It's just me, I don't want to be a burden to your family."

"But you know that for the last year you've been like one of the family so it's only natural that you stay at the house," he reasoned.

"But, you all have done so much for me the last year. I can stay by myself and take care of myself," Trixie insisted.

Speed abruptly pulled the Mach 5 over to the side of the road and shifted the car to park. He turned to face Trixie completely. "Okay, Trixie, talk to me. What's eating you? You wanted to talk before so let's talk," he said with a bit of irritation.

Trixie sighed and looked at him. He gazed back, waiting for her to speak, biding his time. She bit her lip in consternation. "You think we could go to a quiet, private place?"

Speed studied her intently but her expression was inscrutable. "This sounds really important. Well, okay. Let's drop your stuff off at the house and then we'll go for a ride to our place to talk. I have some things I want to say to you anyway. I'll make sure Spritle and Chim Chim don't stow away before we leave so we'll be sure to be all alone." He turned and shifted to pull back out into traffic and they continued to the Racer house silently.

When they got to the house, Speed cut the motor and directed her. "I'll go bring your stuff inside and be right back so stay here. Unless you need to go inside." He eyed her meaningfully.

"No I'm okay. I'll wait here," Trixie answered, catching the drift. She turned her head and studied her fingers nervously.

Speed sighed as he exited to go to the back of the Mach 5 to open the trunk and get her bag. He was a bit put off by her uncustomary reticence but decided that discretion was the tack to take considering her strange mood. He took his key and locked the trunk to make sure that his intrepid little brother and monkey pal wouldn't try to hide inside to spy on him and his girl. Speed headed inside letting the front door slam. 

Mom Racer was sitting on the sofa in the living room, serenely knitting and Pops was reclined in his easy chair serenading her with his snoring. Spritle and Chim Chim were on the carpet playing with his toy race cars and this was the scene Speed walked in on.

"Hi everybody," he announced as he dropped Trixie's bag off in the front hall. He turned to hurry back out but Mom's question stopped him. "Speedy, where's Trixie?"

"Uh, she's in the car, Mom. We're goin' for a ride, okay? See ya later," Speed called but Spritle and Chim Chim jumped up and ran to the door.

"Oh boy, it's a groovy day for a ride. C'mon Chim!" the youngster and chimp tried to race out the door but Speed grabbed them both.

"Sorry, Spritle but me and Trixie are going _alone_. We want to spend some time together and you can't come along," Speed said adamantly.

Spritle began to protest but Speed closed the door firmly and dashed down the stairs to run to the Mach 5. He vaulted over the side and started the car to back quickly down the driveway while Trixie eyed him quizzically.

"What's the matter, Speed. Why the big rush?" she wanted to know.

Speed brushed a hand back through his hair as they drove away. "Spritle wanted to come so I closed the door on him before he could whine his way into coming with us. I think that neither one of us wanted him to come."

Trixie nodded, "I love Spritle but I want to talk to you alone, Speed. I hope he understands."

Speed responded, "He had no choice. I made sure of it." Changing the subject he asked, "Are you hungry? 'Cause I sure am."

Trixie replied, "Uh-huh. Let's get something to eat at the drive-in. I had a couple of days of hospital food and could really go for some real food."

"You've read my mind," Speed said and headed for the drive-in.

After they ate, the atmosphere between Speed and Trixie had lightened up so he took her around some of his favorite roads around town. As they drove along, Speed mused on how much had transpired during the last week. He couldn't help thinking that if things had gone differently, Trixie would be gone instead of sitting in the seat beside him. The thought had made him feel a chill so he tentatively reached a hand over to squeeze hers to reassure himself that she was still with him.

Trixie in the meantime had been studying Speed surreptitiously as they rode along, admiring his strong yet classically handsome profile. She shuddered slightly as she thought about the fact that she had almost died and would have never seen Speed again. The thought had filled her with a desolate feeling and when he reached to take her hand, she clung to him with both of hers. Her action made him look at her with an expression she couldn't read as they continued driving wordlessly along.

Speed pulled onto the road that led directly to Lake Icy Chill and then proceeded to cruise up the road to arrive at what he and Trixie often referred to as "their place." It was a place where they had their deepest conversations and shared their most romantic moments. It was mainly secluded and very private.

Speed slipped the Mach 5 into park and killed the engine. He turned himself to Trixie face to face as she gazed up at him. "Here we are. It's quiet, peaceful and we're all alone. So talk to me, baby, what's on your mind?"

Trixie sighed and reached her hand to gently run her fingers around the contour of his cheek and jaw. He captured her hand and said, "If you keep that up, it's not talking we'll be doing. So come on, tell me what's bothering you."

She sighed again and spoke, "We've been through a lot this week, haven't we?"

Speed nodded slowly. "Yeah, that's putting it mildly."

Trixie put her head down. "I'm sorry I caused you so much worry." Tears began to flow.

Speed's heart began pounding. He reached his hand gently to wipe at the tiny warm rivulets running down her petal soft cheek. "No, don't apologize, baby. I'm just so glad you're okay. At one point I thought that I was gonna lose you and I can't tell you how terrified I was. The night your heart stopped, I was petrified, I'd never been so scared in my life."

"That's what I want to talk to you about, Speed. And please don't think I'm crazy as I tell you this because it really, truly happened," Trixie said clutching both his arms desperately.

"Trixie, I could never think of you as crazy. You've got better sense than me any day. So c'mon and tell me. What happened to you?"

She took a deep breath and began, "Speed, remember when my heart stopped?"

Speed replied, "How could I forget? That was one of the darkest times of my life."

Trixie went on, "Well, I saw what happens just before we die." She watched for Speed's reaction but he just continued to have his eyes riveted to her so she continued. "I got to meet the Angel of Death."

"The Angel of Death?"

Trixie nodded, "Uh-huh. He's the angel that brings us to heaven. Anyway, he met with me and talked to me about you."

Speed's eyes widened. "About me?" he asked, incredulous.

"Yeah. He told me it wasn't time for me to die yet because of you. He said that if I did leave you, you'd turn your back on God's will for your life."

Speed studied her intently and inquired, "And what's that?"

Trixie replied, "What you've been doing. Racing and being a role model for young people. Helping to fight evil and corruption. And helping those less fortunate."

Speed leaned back to absorb all she said. He ran his hand through his inky locks as he stared into the distance, pondering the words. "Wow," he breathed. He then turned to her and asked, "What else did he say?"

Trixie lowered her head and answered demurely, "He told me that it was God's will for me was to stand by you and do everything I can to support you as you accomplished your task."

Speed then gently took her chin in his fingers to raise her head and meet her eyes. "And what was your answer?"

"I'm here, aren't I?"

"Yes, you are. And I'm so very thankful to God that you are. When I thought you were dying, I mean, words just can't describe how I felt, Trix. I felt like someone had ripped my heart right out of me. I even came out and beat the crap out of the Mach 5. I blamed it and myself for killing you. I was even going to quit racing 'cause it had too many memories of you with me."

"Oh, Speed," Trixie whispered.

He continued, "I just wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole. Then Racer X came over and helped me get a grip on myself."

Trixie remarked, "He's always there at the right time. I'm glad he was there for you."

"Yeah, me too." Speed sighed and leaned back again as he commented, "Well, I guess it's clear for both of us then. We need each other to keep doing our jobs."

"Speed, what else did Racer X say?" she wanted to know.

Speed turned back and gave her a bittersweet smile. "He told me some things about the way I handle things, our relationship included."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh. He told me that the special woman in my life should never, ever feel that she's less important than others. And it made me realize that there have been times the past year when I've done and said some things to prove that I've taken you for granted. You've always sacrificed for me and supported me no matter what and when I was at the brink of losing you, I realized how meaningless my life would be without you."

Now it was Trixie's turn to turn and mull over what Speed just said. As close as they were, there were times they acted almost embarrassed about their feelings for each other. And there were other times that they even distanced themselves from each other, making the appearance of them being just friends. But then there were times when they knew that there was nobody else for either of them.

She sighed as they sat there momentarily lost in their individual reveries. She was filled with the wonder as she thought about what Speed confessed to her. She had no idea that his feelings for her ran so deep. He had said once that he was in love with her but at times was so preoccupied with his racing and his heroic deeds that she felt ignored or at least unnoticed. But his declaration had proven those impressions to be snap judgements based on her own pique. She reached over and squeezed Speed's hands, which were clutching the steering wheel as he was staring in the distance with a thoughtful frown marring his sculptured features. 

Speed, meanwhile, was deep in thought about what Trixie had shared. That she had actually been close to leaving the earth was unnerving enough but to discover that their lives were entwined by divine will was amazing. He had always sensed that there was something about her that drew him to her even when there were other beautiful girls clamoring for his attention. But each time she seemed to outshine every heiress, princess, or other girl. And she was the most unspoiled, unselfish, and loyal girl he'd ever known besides being delicately beautiful. He shook himself from his trance and met her sea green eyes gazing softly at him and he returned her tender regard.

"I love you, Speed," Trixie said in a hushed, shy tone.

Speed's eyes became infused with warmth as he answered gently. "I love you too, Trix. And I promise you, you'll never have reason to doubt that again. I'm sorry that you ever had to." 

Trixie smiled a sweet smile that was so enticing Speed leaned over to gently capture her lips in a slow kiss that deepened as their mutual passion kindled. Speed teased her mouth open as he tasted her sweetness, burying his hands in her silky curls. He continued his tender assault like a starving man afraid his only meal was about to be snatched away. Trixie was overwhelmed by Speed's fervor but she too responded in kind, keeping pace with him tit for tat.

They finally broke apart to catch their collective breaths. Speed inhaled deeply and then spoke. "There was something else Racer X told me that's related considering what you told me. It's something I want to, no I need to tell you, Trix."

Trixie gazed at him quizzically. "What?"

"He told me that I have 'a racer's soul' and that racing's my destiny." Speed stated. "And the more I've thought about it, the more I realize it's true. When I race, it's like I'm in my element." He lowered his head in shame. "And that's what I have to tell you. If you hadn't made it, I would've still raced but it would definitely never been the same. We've shared so much I'd always feel you beside me even if you were gone."

"Oh Speed, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me," Trixie answered. She grasped his arm to get his attention. "But if I had died, I would've wanted you to go on. What you do is too important, God made me see that. So it's your duty to keep racing and being the decent, straight and virtuous man you're destined to be no matter what."

Speed grinned and ran his fingers gently on her cheek in a caress. "And it's up to you to keep me on the straight and narrow when my faults show themselves. You keep me grounded when I get too impulsive and act before thinking."

Trixie nodded, "We both have our jobs to do and we have to do them together."

Speed patted the side of the Mach 5. "And here's where we have to do them. All three of us a whole."

Speed and Trixie both sat quietly as their individual resolves, like the next race, stood before them. They linked hands ready to face the future, whatever it held.

****

END


End file.
